We all know the cliche "Honesty is the best policy" it is an old saying, but a very true. It is easier, more freeing, and it honors Christ when we live by the policy of pursuing honesty.
Living honestly means that you are not having to make a note of what you told Joe vs. what you told Susie. Lying is too much work! You have to remember what everyone knows and what they don't know. You have to lie to cover up the lie. Lying is ungodly because we serve an honest God and we are told to reflect Him. Plus, when we are busy keeping track of our lies we do not have the time to evangelize and serve the Lord.
After my rape I didn't tell anyone what happened. For years I lied through omission. I kept the truth from everyone. Yeah, people knew something was wrong, but they didn't know what. And that act hurt people that I love. It showed a lack of trust and faith. People may say I did what I had to do to get through, but that isn't true. I was being selfish in my pain and dishonest and it made things worse. Lies, whether it be a lie you tell or the truth you hold back when you shouldn't, are harmful and not just for the person who's pants are on fire. They hurt those around us. They cause a rift in the trust level.
It is easier to do it God's way, to pursue a life of honesty. If you are lying because you think people will like you more, they won't. It may seem like they do, but they are not liking the REAL you. No one can please everyone, all the time, so why get caught up in the bondage of falsehood?
Jesus promised that "the TRUTH shall set you free" and while He was talking about himself, He was also referring to pursuing truth in all its forms. Truth is the best way. It is a very godly pursuit and should be the mark of every Christian. Live truthfully and see how things change for the better. It may be hard at the beginning, if you are having to confess sins and lies, but cling to the promise of Christ and you will be free from the guilt, shame, fear, and stress that lies bring.
Pursue purity, pursue financial wisdom and purse an honest lifestyle.
-JLK-
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
From Skeptical to Hopeful!
In March or February I blogged about my explorations into the world of online dating. I was a bit (ok a little more than a bit) skeptical about the results. I mentioned that I have a dear friend that met the man that is now her husband online. I wasn't so sure about the process and results.
Well, not long after I posted my blog I bit the bullet and signed up on match.com and I have to admit that I met a guy that so far is pretty wonderful! We talked quite a bit online and via text messaging (because well I have this thing about talking on the phone...not my favorite activity...) and we've been out on 2 dates and he's met some of dear friends.
So far it is going quite well and I'm very hopeful about what the future has. It means that I have to admit that online dating does seem to work. Who knew!?! I guess Bones was right when (in an episode in one of the earlier seasons) she said "Online dating is an objective way to meet a date and decide if they are worth pursuing" (or something to that effect---that was a good episode I should watch it again!)
JLK
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Next Post: Godly Pursuit #3 of 5 Living Honestly
Well, not long after I posted my blog I bit the bullet and signed up on match.com and I have to admit that I met a guy that so far is pretty wonderful! We talked quite a bit online and via text messaging (because well I have this thing about talking on the phone...not my favorite activity...) and we've been out on 2 dates and he's met some of dear friends.
So far it is going quite well and I'm very hopeful about what the future has. It means that I have to admit that online dating does seem to work. Who knew!?! I guess Bones was right when (in an episode in one of the earlier seasons) she said "Online dating is an objective way to meet a date and decide if they are worth pursuing" (or something to that effect---that was a good episode I should watch it again!)
JLK
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Next Post: Godly Pursuit #3 of 5 Living Honestly
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Look Back
I just spent a few minutes perusing some of my earliest blog posts I have here. Wow, is that a trip! I really needed to learn how to edit a blog! So, when I have a few minutes this Spring that is one thing I am going to do--edit my blogs and make sure that they make sense and do not have quite as many embarrassing errors! Since I am a writer and all, I should probably make sure I edit before I publish each blog!
I read one entry from 2007, the year this blog started (3 years ago!) and in it I talked about my dream wedding plans. Being as I'm a female I retain the right to change my mind on anything up to the day of the wedding! So, I thought I would share a few of those minor changes.
I still want Jon to officiate the wedding. I still want Kim and Gary to be involved somehow as well. Aunt Lisa will still be my pianist and I will walk into the song Jessica's Theme (from Man From Snowy River, great song! And perfect for me!). I still think I want the same 2 songs sung.
The major change would be in the colors and the location. Most likely I'd have it in Sheridan, since that is where I grew up, but a majority of my friends are here in VA, so I'd be open to finding a small church around here. For wedding colors I want navy blue and a dark red (hey-they are similar to the colors on our flag for a reason, they look great together!).
It was fun to peruse my old blog posts. I can see that I've grown and matured in many ways. I have some distance now. I am able to talk about what happened to me with the perspective of time and a lack of anger. When I read some of my old posts I can see the hurt and the anger I felt. And a lot of that has faded for me. My past is my past, I can't change it, but I don't have to let it remain baggage like I was.
I think this blog has also taken on a more evangelistic slant. Must be that LBTS affected me after all! :-)
My book is STILL in progress. Some days it feels like my kids will be in school before it is published, and I don't have any children yet!
I have also realized that I've been fairly quiet on mentioning that Favre is a grandpa. Yes, I know the man that lead my team to bringing the Lombardi Trophy home to Title town is now a traitor and plays for the Vikings, but I still respect the guy. He is an amazing athlete, even if things were not handled the way they should have been. I still hope that he has a couple more seasons left. I enjoy watching him play. And yes, I feel like a bit of a traitor saying this, but I have my cheesehead on, so it all balances out! ;-) I just wish he was still wearing GREEN and gold, that purple color...YUCK!
Traveling down memory lane was mostly fun! Next blog will be about our third Godly pursuit--using our time wisely!
-JLK-
Monday, April 19, 2010
Godly Pursuit #2: financial wisdom
For my second installment on living a godly life (something I am trying to figure out how to do) I want to talk about financial wisdom.
God wants us to be wise in the way we use the money HE blesses us with, be it millions of dollars or just enough to squeak by each month. Most of us have enough to survive, and generally more than that. Even in this down turn in the economy, God is giving us enough to live, and most of us are not doing that living in cardboard boxes.
We may not have all that we want, but if we do this money thing the way the Lord tells us to, we will have the security to know that God will take care of us. The first thing to learn is to always tithe--that is to give back to God what HE deserves. It is really all His anyway.
When you are living on a month to month, trying to buy enough groceries and figure out how to keep the landlord's and bill collectors happy type budget it is hard to imagine giving 10% of that $ to the Lord. TEN percent!!! That is a lot of food money you may think. But it is amazing to see how much farther your budget can stretch if you are in the habit of tithing. The Lord blesses those that do things His way.
So, we know that tithing is a good idea. But that isn't all there is to financial wisdom, I should know. Learning to live in a financially godly way is something that at 27 I am still endeavoring to learn, and probably will be learning my whole life.
Some of the things I have learned that I TRY to implement (and I'm writing this as an imperfect person that is preaching to myself...because who actually reads this blog???) is to set up a realistic budget and stick to it. No matter how much $$$ you have, be it access to the Trump's vault, or a welfare check, if you set up a realistic budget and stick to it, you are learning wise $ management. The point here is to STICK to the budget. It is a waste of time to make one if you are going to ignore it.
Another thing I have learned is to be creative. Yeah, going to Disney World sounds exciting, visiting friends that live across the country would be great, but is it worth going into debt? Come up with creative ways to have fun. America is a vast place, and there are people from all over our country that travel to YOUR area to vacation. Most locals don't vacation where they live. So why not see the sights--it is quite cheap and could be enlightening. Or, if you want to do dinner with friends have a potluck. It is just as fun as going out to eat, you could even make it a dressy affair, and it is budget friendly. Think outside the box for activities. Being creative takes more thinking, but it is generally more fun too!
A third part of financial wisdom is preparing for a rainy day. No matter how little we make we should be putting a little bit in savings (be it in a bank account or under the mattress), because only God knows the future. Even if it is only $5/month, it is something and God will bless the foresight and sacrifice.
A fourth part is to settle for the simple life. The simple life is not a bad life. Think about it, who seems most fulfilled really? The hoi ploi that are trying to better each other and have the biggest and the best, or the less financially endowed, but those that know that money isn't everything? Money is necessary and having it may simplify some things, but it complicates other things. Like everything else in life, money is two sided.
Money is needed to survive in our culture, but with money comes responsibility and stress. Responsibility to live within your means and stress when you are blessed with a larger budget. I've read articles and talked to people that have been quite blessed financially and one thing they seem to have in common-they wonder who their real friends are. Lots of people will try to get into "your circle" when you have money, because they want to benefit from your blessing. So, with money comes a need to figure out who are the true friends and who are the sponges. Right now, I know who my true friends are, I know who I can count on, and that is worth far more than having unlimited cash.
Yes, I'd love to have a budget that is a bit more elastic and less rigid. If I'm being honest, I'd like to experience what it is like to be rich. But being money rich is not necessary. Yes, I hope to make a decent amount from my book (and hopefully more than one book), but I don't want it so that I can dive in my money vault like Scrooge McDuck.
And that is the final secret to financial wisdom. God is a master at looking at our hearts. If we are tithing, living within our budgets, being creative that is all good, but God also looks at the heart. Are we doing all this in the hopes that God will see our actions and deem us blessing worthy, or do we truly have a steward's heart? Deep down why are trying to be financially wise? If we are doing it because we honestly believe it is God's way, that is what matters. Our convictions and our heart followed by displaying those through deeds is what God looks for-that is the crux of living Godly.
The human part of me wants money because it buys stuff--and God knows that is a struggle for most people, and I'm totally included in that group. I like stuff, especially movies and books. I'm a bookaholic. I read just about an anything and everything and I am most comfortable when surrounded by books. But, God also knows why I want to make a bit more money, and here is the truth, here is Jessie being honest.
1. I'm deeply indebted to my parents. Not only for their immense generosity, but for their love and because I love them back. I want to be able to give back and support them in a lavish way, because my love language is gift giving. Having money would be how I can show them in a material way that love them.
2. God has taken me on an incredible journey and I have learned so much about Him. I want to be able to share HIS story with others, and hopefully help others to avoid the pain and the trials I have endured, and to help people that are in the midst of blinding trials to see the Light of Hope and to endure the trials and be Christ matured by them. It takes money to do this, to get from my home to where I want to speak.
3. I want to be able to travel. Traveling to visit friends that I love, and to see other parts of the world. Traveling is one way that I grow closer to God. Seeing all that God has created and learning just a smidgen of how imaginative our Savior is, just blows my mind and draws me even closer to Him and I yearn to have an even deeper relationship with my Lord.
4. It is the way the Lord wants me to live. Being financially wise is godly. It is mature and it is a better witness to others. We dim our reflection of Christ when we act in financially foolish ways. Our mission is to spread Christ's message and gift to others, and if that means living financially wise, than that is what I yearn to do. I want to do it simply because it is the right thing to do.
-JLK-
God wants us to be wise in the way we use the money HE blesses us with, be it millions of dollars or just enough to squeak by each month. Most of us have enough to survive, and generally more than that. Even in this down turn in the economy, God is giving us enough to live, and most of us are not doing that living in cardboard boxes.
We may not have all that we want, but if we do this money thing the way the Lord tells us to, we will have the security to know that God will take care of us. The first thing to learn is to always tithe--that is to give back to God what HE deserves. It is really all His anyway.
When you are living on a month to month, trying to buy enough groceries and figure out how to keep the landlord's and bill collectors happy type budget it is hard to imagine giving 10% of that $ to the Lord. TEN percent!!! That is a lot of food money you may think. But it is amazing to see how much farther your budget can stretch if you are in the habit of tithing. The Lord blesses those that do things His way.
So, we know that tithing is a good idea. But that isn't all there is to financial wisdom, I should know. Learning to live in a financially godly way is something that at 27 I am still endeavoring to learn, and probably will be learning my whole life.
Some of the things I have learned that I TRY to implement (and I'm writing this as an imperfect person that is preaching to myself...because who actually reads this blog???) is to set up a realistic budget and stick to it. No matter how much $$$ you have, be it access to the Trump's vault, or a welfare check, if you set up a realistic budget and stick to it, you are learning wise $ management. The point here is to STICK to the budget. It is a waste of time to make one if you are going to ignore it.
Another thing I have learned is to be creative. Yeah, going to Disney World sounds exciting, visiting friends that live across the country would be great, but is it worth going into debt? Come up with creative ways to have fun. America is a vast place, and there are people from all over our country that travel to YOUR area to vacation. Most locals don't vacation where they live. So why not see the sights--it is quite cheap and could be enlightening. Or, if you want to do dinner with friends have a potluck. It is just as fun as going out to eat, you could even make it a dressy affair, and it is budget friendly. Think outside the box for activities. Being creative takes more thinking, but it is generally more fun too!
A third part of financial wisdom is preparing for a rainy day. No matter how little we make we should be putting a little bit in savings (be it in a bank account or under the mattress), because only God knows the future. Even if it is only $5/month, it is something and God will bless the foresight and sacrifice.
A fourth part is to settle for the simple life. The simple life is not a bad life. Think about it, who seems most fulfilled really? The hoi ploi that are trying to better each other and have the biggest and the best, or the less financially endowed, but those that know that money isn't everything? Money is necessary and having it may simplify some things, but it complicates other things. Like everything else in life, money is two sided.
Money is needed to survive in our culture, but with money comes responsibility and stress. Responsibility to live within your means and stress when you are blessed with a larger budget. I've read articles and talked to people that have been quite blessed financially and one thing they seem to have in common-they wonder who their real friends are. Lots of people will try to get into "your circle" when you have money, because they want to benefit from your blessing. So, with money comes a need to figure out who are the true friends and who are the sponges. Right now, I know who my true friends are, I know who I can count on, and that is worth far more than having unlimited cash.
Yes, I'd love to have a budget that is a bit more elastic and less rigid. If I'm being honest, I'd like to experience what it is like to be rich. But being money rich is not necessary. Yes, I hope to make a decent amount from my book (and hopefully more than one book), but I don't want it so that I can dive in my money vault like Scrooge McDuck.
And that is the final secret to financial wisdom. God is a master at looking at our hearts. If we are tithing, living within our budgets, being creative that is all good, but God also looks at the heart. Are we doing all this in the hopes that God will see our actions and deem us blessing worthy, or do we truly have a steward's heart? Deep down why are trying to be financially wise? If we are doing it because we honestly believe it is God's way, that is what matters. Our convictions and our heart followed by displaying those through deeds is what God looks for-that is the crux of living Godly.
The human part of me wants money because it buys stuff--and God knows that is a struggle for most people, and I'm totally included in that group. I like stuff, especially movies and books. I'm a bookaholic. I read just about an anything and everything and I am most comfortable when surrounded by books. But, God also knows why I want to make a bit more money, and here is the truth, here is Jessie being honest.
1. I'm deeply indebted to my parents. Not only for their immense generosity, but for their love and because I love them back. I want to be able to give back and support them in a lavish way, because my love language is gift giving. Having money would be how I can show them in a material way that love them.
2. God has taken me on an incredible journey and I have learned so much about Him. I want to be able to share HIS story with others, and hopefully help others to avoid the pain and the trials I have endured, and to help people that are in the midst of blinding trials to see the Light of Hope and to endure the trials and be Christ matured by them. It takes money to do this, to get from my home to where I want to speak.
3. I want to be able to travel. Traveling to visit friends that I love, and to see other parts of the world. Traveling is one way that I grow closer to God. Seeing all that God has created and learning just a smidgen of how imaginative our Savior is, just blows my mind and draws me even closer to Him and I yearn to have an even deeper relationship with my Lord.
4. It is the way the Lord wants me to live. Being financially wise is godly. It is mature and it is a better witness to others. We dim our reflection of Christ when we act in financially foolish ways. Our mission is to spread Christ's message and gift to others, and if that means living financially wise, than that is what I yearn to do. I want to do it simply because it is the right thing to do.
-JLK-
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Godly Pursuits: Purity
I want to begin a series on Godly Pursuits. This should last the rest of the month. The first pursuit I want to discuss is Purity.
When we hear the word purity, we think of cleanliness, of something being untouched, or in it's natural form. We also think of virginity. And yes, a virgin is considered pure, but are virgins (or married people that have only slept with each other) the only pure ones?
This is something that I struggled with for a long time after I was raped. I felt unclean and impure. This is a common reaction among rape victims. You shower, you scrub, you take layers of skin off, but you still can't clean the filth that is covering you because it is a filth that touches the soul.
Lots of people also look at prostitutes, and people that choose to sleep with lots of partners as unclean/impure. And yes, it isn't God's way for us to have multiple sex partners. But, does that mean that we are forever blemished? Am I a "Humpty Dumpty" because after my rape I chose to have sex with a man that is not my husband, that I don't even know where he lives now? Because I made that decision more than once?
I used to think that I was forever tarnished. The truth is that God's standard is sex only with your spouse, and that we only marry once in our lifetimes (He did design us for long life, so being a widow/widower was not in His original plan). If we go outside that plan, we are tarnished, but just like buffing can make an old pot gleam again, God can take the tarnish away from our lives.
God forgives, and God purifies. Once we sincerely confess our sins, HE is faithful and will forgive our sins! In the eyes of holy God, we are pure once more! Once we are polished, we need to strive to remain clean, there needs to be upkeep. But, we can be pure once more.
But, what does a pure life look like? The word is thrown around so much, that it is almost meaningless in today's society. Purity doesn't mean that we are backwards, that we don't have fun, that we are "weird". It means that we have chosen a higher standard of living. Purity is all about choice. I choose what I will do. I choose how I will act. I choose to say NO to some things that the world may think is benign, but that I know isn't.
Abstinence can be a part of a pure life, but purity and abstinence are not synonyms. Purity is bigger than just sex. Using sex the wrong way is just one way to sin. But, it isn't the only sin. Lying, stealing, killing, idolotry, selfishness, pride, etc. they are all sins, and they are all equal in cost. They all tarnish our lives, add in impurities.
God wants us to pursue purity in all its forms. God wants us to use sex right, if we do, it is amazing! God wants us to keep our bodies/HIS temple clean. God wants us be vigilant in what we choose to watch, listen to, read. Our goal should be to realize that God is always with us, always watching, and we need to live knowing this. Purity is not one thing, it is a way of life and it is indeed a godly pursuit.
We choose to live a pure life-pure in action and thought not so that we can look down on others and say "Oh just look at THAT sinner!" but so that we can reflect Christ. We live pure so that we can show others there is a better way, and it isn't backward, it is MORE fun, because it comes with less guilt and less heartache.
Face it, sleeping with multiple partners may be orgasmic in the moment, but even the world recognizes that it comes at a high price, that we give a part of ourselves to all our partners, and most won't cherish the gift. The sex part of purity, once it is tarnished can be cleaned, but it doesn't shine quite as brightly. Yes, God forgives, but He also allows consequences. Living a pure life is the best way to avoid those consequences.
We are pure in what we say because it is easier. It is easier to remember the truth than a bunch of lies, so why lie? It is easier to keep our eyes from looking at impure images than trying to hide our "hobby" from the world. Purity is a godly pursuit because it is living right, and it is EASIER! If we truly live God's way, pursue His path, we will not always find it stress free, it will not be all mountain top experiences, but it in the long run, it is easier to do the right thing than keep track and try to hide a myriad of sins.
So, pursue purity and see how better life is!
-JLK-
When we hear the word purity, we think of cleanliness, of something being untouched, or in it's natural form. We also think of virginity. And yes, a virgin is considered pure, but are virgins (or married people that have only slept with each other) the only pure ones?
This is something that I struggled with for a long time after I was raped. I felt unclean and impure. This is a common reaction among rape victims. You shower, you scrub, you take layers of skin off, but you still can't clean the filth that is covering you because it is a filth that touches the soul.
Lots of people also look at prostitutes, and people that choose to sleep with lots of partners as unclean/impure. And yes, it isn't God's way for us to have multiple sex partners. But, does that mean that we are forever blemished? Am I a "Humpty Dumpty" because after my rape I chose to have sex with a man that is not my husband, that I don't even know where he lives now? Because I made that decision more than once?
I used to think that I was forever tarnished. The truth is that God's standard is sex only with your spouse, and that we only marry once in our lifetimes (He did design us for long life, so being a widow/widower was not in His original plan). If we go outside that plan, we are tarnished, but just like buffing can make an old pot gleam again, God can take the tarnish away from our lives.
God forgives, and God purifies. Once we sincerely confess our sins, HE is faithful and will forgive our sins! In the eyes of holy God, we are pure once more! Once we are polished, we need to strive to remain clean, there needs to be upkeep. But, we can be pure once more.
But, what does a pure life look like? The word is thrown around so much, that it is almost meaningless in today's society. Purity doesn't mean that we are backwards, that we don't have fun, that we are "weird". It means that we have chosen a higher standard of living. Purity is all about choice. I choose what I will do. I choose how I will act. I choose to say NO to some things that the world may think is benign, but that I know isn't.
Abstinence can be a part of a pure life, but purity and abstinence are not synonyms. Purity is bigger than just sex. Using sex the wrong way is just one way to sin. But, it isn't the only sin. Lying, stealing, killing, idolotry, selfishness, pride, etc. they are all sins, and they are all equal in cost. They all tarnish our lives, add in impurities.
God wants us to pursue purity in all its forms. God wants us to use sex right, if we do, it is amazing! God wants us to keep our bodies/HIS temple clean. God wants us be vigilant in what we choose to watch, listen to, read. Our goal should be to realize that God is always with us, always watching, and we need to live knowing this. Purity is not one thing, it is a way of life and it is indeed a godly pursuit.
We choose to live a pure life-pure in action and thought not so that we can look down on others and say "Oh just look at THAT sinner!" but so that we can reflect Christ. We live pure so that we can show others there is a better way, and it isn't backward, it is MORE fun, because it comes with less guilt and less heartache.
Face it, sleeping with multiple partners may be orgasmic in the moment, but even the world recognizes that it comes at a high price, that we give a part of ourselves to all our partners, and most won't cherish the gift. The sex part of purity, once it is tarnished can be cleaned, but it doesn't shine quite as brightly. Yes, God forgives, but He also allows consequences. Living a pure life is the best way to avoid those consequences.
We are pure in what we say because it is easier. It is easier to remember the truth than a bunch of lies, so why lie? It is easier to keep our eyes from looking at impure images than trying to hide our "hobby" from the world. Purity is a godly pursuit because it is living right, and it is EASIER! If we truly live God's way, pursue His path, we will not always find it stress free, it will not be all mountain top experiences, but it in the long run, it is easier to do the right thing than keep track and try to hide a myriad of sins.
So, pursue purity and see how better life is!
-JLK-
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