Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11 NASB)

The Lord has plans for me, plans to give me a future and hope. Good plans. That is exciting, it should be a peaceful verse for Christians. We can rest assured that God has a plan for each of us, and if God has a plan, than He is going to want to help us accomplish it. God's plan is not secret. God did not say that "Only I know the secret plans I have for you..." Nope. God knows His plan, it is a good one, and He wants to show it to us. How wonderful, how marvelous!!!

Right now, in my spare time I am enjoying reading the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. She is a NY times best seller with each book in this series. Stephanie Plum lives in Trenton, NJ and is in her mid 30's. She is a Bounty Hunter, but a bumbling one. She is like the female Barney Fife of bounty hunters. The situations she finds herself in, and as the reader, we go on with her, they are just funny, improbable, down right hillarious! I love these books because I can pick one up and I know that from start to finish, there will be lots of comedy. Mysteries are solved along the way, a few fugitives are brought to justice, but mostly, I laugh.

With everything that has gone in on the past year, I needed something light like Evanovich's books. God knew that I needed something light, and He is using these books to remind me of some important parts of His plan for my life, and for yours. I am about to impart some deep wisdom, are you ready???

God wants us to enjoy our lives! Yep, I said it, God wants us to have fun. Now, our lives are not an endless trip to Disney World. That isn't what I'm saying. I'm saying that God wants us to enjoy this earth. The earth was created for His enjoyment, and ours! We need to be serious about growing in Him, and sharing Him with others. We need to pray and study the Bible, to work our hardest at our jobs, to be the best siblings, parents, friends. There are many serious parts of life, and they should be treated as such. Be that as it may, part of the plan God has for us is for us to ENJOY LIFE. Take time-outs to laugh.

In Ecclesiastes we are told " There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under Heaven.--A time to give birth, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance." (Ecc. 3:1-4 NASB, emphasis added). God wants us to take the time to laugh.

This week I am going to focus on remembering that there is a time for everything. Over the weekend I spent a lot of time thinking about the loved ones that have gone to Heaven, and my friends and family that are hurting right now. Life on this earth is hard, there is a lot of pain. Sometimes it seems that the 21st century has only brought more pain than past decades. I don't know, since I've only been around since the 80's. I do know this, there is a lot of evil in the world. It is easy to get caught in the time to mourn, and to stay in that season. Yet, there is a season for that, but there is also a season for laughter. Mourning has to end. We can't let ourselves mourn forever, that isn't part of God's plan.

Reading Jeremiah 29 was a good reminder to me, that God has a plan for me, and that plan includes good stuff, and hard stuff. The hard stuff makes that good stuff seem even better. If we all lived at Disney World the joy and the magic of the place would wear off and it would seem everyday.

We don't live in a perpetual party land, so when we do party, it is special. Laughter is a gift from God. I need to remember that, and to let myself not feel guilty when I can laugh, honestly laugh. For too many years now I've kept part of my heart in this perpetual gloom. I've felt like, I owe the girl that died on February 2, 2002 something, and that something was guilt. Guilt for living, for being joyful. She should have died that night. There was gun, right there. Yet, for some reason I survived. Through all the horror, pain, humiliation, fear, pain, fear and anger, I survived. Yet, the old me died that night. I'm not the same person I was before.

God did not want the rape to happen. Of course He didn't. God loves me. Jesus, died for me, that is how much He loves me. He loves me, even with all my sins (and there are many) and imperfections, Jesus came down and said "Jessie, I love you, and to show you just how much I love you, I'm going to let myself be beaten to within an inch of my life, so badly that my Mom, My own mother won't even recognize me. That isn't enough though, I love you more than that. I love you so much, that after I'm beaten, I am going to drag a heavy beam across town and up a hill, bleeding all the way. Being tormented and taunted as I go. Then, at the top of the hill I still won't have loved you enough. I am going to let men erect the cross, tie me to it, and then put huge nails through my wrists, and literally impale me, so that when the cross is stood up and pounded into the ground, I will remain on it. But, the nails are not holding me there. I am there, because, Jessie, I love you. I love you. I don't care what you did, I don't care what your sins are, your temptations, your imperfections. I love you, because I created you, and you are perfect to me."(Jesus). I'm not the only one. He thought of each of us as He went through all that.

So no, Jesus didn't do all that just sit and watch me be raped by two evil men with a gun. Jesus wept as it happened. Yet, He had a plan for me. A plan that would bring me a future and hope. For so many men and women, after a rape there is no hope. There is no future. The repercussions of the rape bring them to end their own lives. As hard as it is to go on, I did, and I still do, because Jesus loves me and He has a plan for me. It would be selfish of me to end the race early. I want to accomplish the tasks He has for me. Because I love Jesus. I love Jesus, because He first loved me.

So what is His plan? Well first of all it is for me to grow in wisdom and knowledge, of Him and of life and all that living on earth means. Secondly, I need to share my testimony and help others. I need to show other women and children, that yes it is possible to not only survive sexual abuse, but to thrive. The people we are before the abuse die, they are gone. Replaced by people that are acutely aware of the evil of this world. Yet, people that are also able to learn how to honestly laugh again, and not feel guilty. People who can go on to accomplish amazing and wonderful things. Thirdly, I need to share Jesus with everyone I meet. My love for Christ should be evident to everyone I meet. That is His plan for me.

Will I get married and have kids? I hope so, someday. I want 3 kids (two of my own, and adopt one). But is that necessary for me to have a fulfilled and Christ honoring life? NO. This is new for me. I am learning that as much as I want to get married, and I do. We all know that I do, but as much as I want to get married, even more than that I want to live for Christ. I want to share my testimony with as many people as possible. I want to help women and children learn how to live in Christ's love and thrive after abuse. That is my passion. That is God's plan for what happened, that is why I survived the attack, and was not murdered.

"For I know the plans I have for you." THANK YOU LORD!!!