Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Paths We Take

Your past really does yank you into the present and alter your future. It really does. As much as we would sometimes like to escape the past that is a no can do request. It is impossible to change the past. If it was, I would be overjoyed. There aren't many things that I regret. I find regret to be a waste of time. I can't change what happened so regret it? Why not use whatever it is and learn from it, grow from the experience and let it make me into a better person? That is my goal. To always be learning; be it in a classroom, church sanctuary or just from living. I am a life long learner.

It amazes me to think sometimes how one event can so drastically alter the course of one's journey. One event. The event I'm thinking of took no more than 1 minute, but that minute really has changed my outlook, sometimes better, sometimes worse. No, I'm not going to disclose what happened. Suffice it to say it wasn't cool.

I will say this, I'm a proud graduate of the Montana State University system. But, no school is perfect. Every school is made of humans so it is doomed to imperfection. For me that is how I was treated when one of my best friends and I reported a crime that happened to our person's on to the campus police.

One thing that all college students know is: if something happens on campus, call the CAMPUS police and they will handle it. Now, it is all well and good to have campus police. And the night in question I was very grateful for them. They responded quickly and professionally. But, let me tell you a secret...Schools like to handle things themselves. So, what happened that night was never prosecuted in court, and my friend and I were sent to a session where we had to face our attacker. Now, there was another adult present mediating, but still why should a victim of an abusive crime have to face her attacker outside of court.

I can understand if I was testifying in a court room, that is different, but in the Student Gov't meeting room? That has always struck me as a little weird. And to have the school not really do anything, and to have it not prosecuted by the DA's office I find to be wholly unsatisfactory in the extreme. There isn't anything I can do about it now, but pray and work within the government for changes.

I don't care that the crime happened on campus, it happened and that should be enough for the DA to get involved. Schools should not be allowed to handle things internally, because normally that means SQUAT! And now, I hear that the guy is free to roam the streets and travel (he was incarcerated 8 months later for a separate crime- same thing to a greater degree of severity, and it happened off campus, so when the girl reported it the crime was prosecuted).

I think this is why I like shows like CSI, SVU, NCIS, Forensic Files, etc. I like them because it shows the police going after the bad guys and the bad guys going to jail. I like a happy ending!

Here is the thing. The first time I am brutally attacked (and I've never shared all the deets with people about that night, nor do I plan on it. Suffice it to say I would never wish it all on the evilest creature) I chose not to report. The second I was attacked, and yes it was much less severe, and there were witnesses as well as a 2nd victim, but I was attacked and I reported to the authorities I was told to. I do what I am supposed to do, and what happens??? Not only is he NOT punished but Sue (name changed) and I are forced to face in some mediation meeting to sort things out!!! HE WAS DRUNK AND ATTACKED US!!! WE HAVE A WITNESS!!! what is there to mediate??

I went from feeling protected by the 2 officers that responded (and I knew from having worked in the campus police office... long story there...!) to being told nothing was going to happen and that he claimed he didn't touch us, so we were going to meet to figure it all out.

Yeah, cuz he had no incentive to lie! It was the word of 2 student senators (Sue and I) and 1 other student that was in the room against him. Not to mention that 5-6 other students saw him drunk and upset (and he was known to be a mean drunk) and head our way, not real pleased with my humble self (why is not an issue really, suffice it to say he didn't understand that what it meant to be broken up-or he was in denial), and he knew where Sue and I were. Let me see, who would I believe??? Two girls that were known to be honest, or some student that was known to abuse alcohol and hurt women??? Hmm... I think we need Einstein or someone here to figure it all out for us!!!

Ok, so I'm upset. I just want to say that things need to change on college campuses. Students need to feel that they are going to be taken seriously and that if something happens on campus there will be justice, and the campus is NOT a law free zone. I have done my research and I have found out, that MT is not in a minority here. Way too often a crime happens on campus, a legit crime, and it is NOT dealt with by the gov't. If more parents were aware of what goes on, I think there would be changes.

I know a LOT of partying goes down on campuses nationwide, but that is not an excuse for schools to do NOTHING. Calling campus security should have the same repercussions as calling 911. There should be no difference in how the perp is dealt with. NONE. People wonder why more students don't report what happened, because the likelihood of it being dealt with properly is not in their favor, it favors the perp. So what if the student is put on academic probation? That is not a huge deal, for most students that doesn't affect their futures as much as an official mark on their rap sheet, or time served.

America puts a LOT of people behind bars, and for a variety of reasons. I am not saying that I think jail time was necessary, but something should have happened. And the silly excuse for a meeting we were forced to attend (by the way it was mandatory. In essence I was given the same punishment for being attacked as my attacker was given!!!) Come on now! The victim is NOT responsible for being attacked. I don't care if I was wearing a neon shirt that flashed and screamed "Come get me thug... I'm all yours!" (I wasn't. I was in an extra large t-shirt and flannel pants and slippers).

The attack started and was over quickly, but that one minute changed the course of my life. I wouldn't be where I am right now, if those events hadn't occurred. Sometimes I wonder where I would be. But, the what if game is useless. I am here, and I am excited that I here. Right here is a good place for me. I doing what I want to be doing (at least I am studying to do what I want to do) and I love where I live. So, it isn't a bad outcome, it is just different.

Isn't that how all of life is though? Each decision we make effects us in ways that we might not realize at the time. Some for good, some for bad. The secret is to have the Holy Spirit living within you to guide you, so that you make the decision that best honors the Lord and His will for your life. If you are grounded in the Bible and prayer and you are listening to the still, small voice, than your life will go down a path that brings glory to the Savior, and joy to your soul because you will know that you are living within His will, and that is precious indeed.

-GOODNIGHT ALL-

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