What is Family?

Many countries, including my own beloved USA, have become very mobile nations. Mobile in the sense that the biological family unit is separated. Children do not necessarily live in the same state, much less the same town as their parents. It used to be that in the same small town a newcomer could find generations of family members living together, or within a few minutes of each other. This is now the exception rather than the norm.

Today people go where the job dictates they go, or they go to a town/city that intrigues them. That is what I have done. I moved away from my hometown where my parents and Grandma live, to live all the way across the country in the state (commonwealth) that I prefer. Now, I do miss my hometown and like to talk about it, I'm proud of where I am from, but it is not where I want to live anymore. I think the Lord has me here for a reason and I am very glad because it is a great place.

People need connections. We are made to be part of a family. That is a God-given design. We are made to yearn for Him first and foremost and then to crave a family. Our biological relations used to fill that role, but now that people are not living with their family anymore that role has to be filled somehow.

More and more friends are filling the role of family. We still love our biological relations, but the people we are closest to and share daily life with are our friends. Friends become family. This was very evident on the NBC show "Friends". Monica, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Ross and Rachael were very much family to each other. Yeah, the biological parents and siblings had cameo appearances once in awhile, but if I define family and those people which you share daily life, fears, struggles, joys, etc. with, the 6 characters we very much family.

Friends are not the only people in this neo family unit. There are also pets. In a very real sense our pets are part of our family. We feed them, love them, take of them, play with them, talk to them. We share a lot of ourselves with our pets. It is common and normal to talk to your pets (at least I tell Queens that what I'm doing is normal!).

So, when a close friend (be it the two-legged or four-legged variety) dies or gets sick, there is just as much grief to deal with as when a biological family member goes through the same experience, because we are losing part of that new family that we have forged.

Family is complex. Our family is there for us when we celebrate and when we grieve. Our family members are the ones that know us best, but love us anyway. It is also our family that can hurt us the most, be with what the say, do (don't say and don't do) or when they die. Yet, it is also to our family (be it biological or neo) that we turn to for strength, comfort, wisdom, celebration, etc. Our family really is that group of people that we love best.

-Me-