I just arrived back at my parents' home from an afternoon and night of celebrating the wedding of one of my childhood friends. It was a gorgeous, outdoor ceremony and fun night of food, friends, wine and dancing. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
One of the nice things about weddings is the chance to network. The bride has friends that I hadn't met before, and one of them is a milspouse. She and her marine husband are stationed in Hawaii for the next couple of years (rough assignment!). It was fun to visit with someone that understands the military lingo and 'gets' why a person would be so interested in helping with the military, even as a civilian.
When I talk about the fact that I'm a counselor and my focus is on military crisis counseling I get many different responses. Most people think it is a worthy choice, but don't seem to understand why I would want to spend my career focusing in that area. There are many reasons why it is my focus.
1. We (as a country) owe it to our military families to give them the best support system possible. We have a strong, amazing military, but it can be even stronger with the support of the country.
2. It is a pragmatic choice, as long as we have a military force in this country there will be a need for counseling. Learning to kill, and putting that knowledge into action carries a BIG toll on a person- we (mankind) is created FOR life, not to take it away.
3. I love my country and want to serve, defend and protect the freedoms I have, and ensure that my kids and grandkids will get to experience the amazing country that I call home.
4. I love the whole military family and see it as a mission field. Doing what I do now, and hope to do even more in the coming months, years, decades is how I think the Lord wants to use to increase the harvest. I understand the military and can use that for the Lord.
5. Those who serve us deserve more than the best, and while I'm NOT that, I want to do what the Lord will allow me to do to serve those that are risking their lives, giving up family time and freedoms, so that others can enjoy a smidgen of what America offers, as well as to protect American soil.
My top reasons why I chose to focus on working with the military. But, that is not everything I thought of today. As the maid of honor, best man, and father of the bride were giving their toasts this evening I thought of marriage and how valuable it is in this day and age.
More people are getting divorced these days than are staying married to their one and only. Divorce is big business in the 21st century. That is sad. It is no longer "till death do us part" but, "till I no longer FEEL in love." Love is a choice, it takes work, commitment and perseverance.
In Proverbs 31 we are told "a good wife, who can find? She is worth more than rubies." A good wife---this was spoken to a king. One would think that of all people a kind would NOT have a problem finding a wife. And he wouldn't. But a GOOD wife- an honorable, life long companion that is hard to find. And just as a good wife is hard for a man to find, so is it hard for women to find a good, life long husband.
I love my culture, but I will admit to getting sucked in many times. I am not the most moral, innocent Christians walking around America. I wish I could say that I'm sanctified, but the reality is that I'm a low down, Hell deserving sinner. I SCREW up all the time. I make decisions knowing that they are not the best way to reflect Christ, yet I make them anyway.
I am SO grateful that God loves me, and has more patience and forgiveness than I deserve, because I need it. I totally understand Paul and his wondering why he does the things he knows are wrong, and can't seem to do the right things. I am just like that, and I HATE it. I hate giving into my sin nature and the Devil.
Yet, even though I sometimes SUCK as a Christian, and model of Christ I still am striving for 2 things (right now).
1. To know, serve and love Christ more fully and live a more sanctified life each day.
2. To grow in my relationship with the Lord, and as a woman, so that I can be that GOOD wife that is described in Proverbs 31.
What are doing to serve the Lord and grow as a Christian? The first step is to accept Him as your Savior, to admit that HE is who the Bible claims He is, and that He is Lord of all. He is God whether you believe and accept it or not, so why not give your life to the One in Charge? The second step is to spend time in prayer, fellowship and the Bible.
Finally, I want to thank the bride for inviting me to her wedding, I'm blessed to have been there. Congrats you two, and my prayer is that you have a long, blessed and joy filled marriage, built on the strength of the Lord so that your relationship can blossom and grow, even in the midst of the storms of life.
-ME-
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
T-Minus 1 Paper....
So I leave at 0602 on Monday and before that I have 1 more paper to finish. I am writing a paper on the subject that is nearest and dearest to my heart- the 3 major stress disorders. So you would think that this paper would come easily to me, but alas the exact opposite is true and I think I have figured out why!
I am so passionate about the subject that trying to decide what NOT to say and to keep the paper from being longer than War and Peace is not easy. I am writing about Acute Stress, Combat Stress and Post Trauma Stress. Each of these subjects has many books devoted to it, so bringing all that down into 15 pages...not the easiest thing to do!
But once this paper is finished I can consider myself academically ready for my trip out West and I can start to relax and feel like I am going on vacation. I think finishing this project is just what I need to do to overcome all the stress I mentioned in my last post.
Another thing that is helping me get into the vacation mood- hearing my nephew playing in the background last night as I visited with my Dad (on the phone) and knowing that on TUESDAY I'll get to see him! That is in less than a week!!! I love my nephew and it has been since November and then was only a couple of days!
And yes, I am excited for the wedding. I do cherish my relationship with the bride. She may not be my "best" friend anymore, but she is still a cherished and important part of my life and I'm super excited for them and I know that they will have many wonderful years together if they remember to focus on the Lord and keep Him central in their relationship. I'm blessed to be able to celebrate her day with her.
Maybe I do wish that I could be going to the wedding with my BF or even husband, and God hasn't seen fit to bless me with that at this time, but HONESTLY that was not what was causing my confliction. For the first time in my life I'm learning to be content with my relationships. I'm working on becoming the woman the Lord wants me to be, and I'm enjoying all the relationships I have with my friends (male and female) and I'm trusting that the Lord knows the desires of my heart and I believe they are Christ honoring desires, so in due time things will happen.
It says in James that we are to ask the Lord for things expecting that they will happen. Why ask the Lord for something and then expect HIM to say no? It isn't worth wasting our breath. So, I've let HIM know my desires (quite often!) and now I just have to trust that it will happen. Till it does I need to work on growing spiritually, serving the Lord in all the ways I can at the moment and count the blessings I do have, and not worry about what I don't have.
One of those blessings is that I get to go on a week long vacation to see people that I love and visit a part of the country that I love. But first, I MUST FINISH THIS PAPER...
-ME-
I am so passionate about the subject that trying to decide what NOT to say and to keep the paper from being longer than War and Peace is not easy. I am writing about Acute Stress, Combat Stress and Post Trauma Stress. Each of these subjects has many books devoted to it, so bringing all that down into 15 pages...not the easiest thing to do!
But once this paper is finished I can consider myself academically ready for my trip out West and I can start to relax and feel like I am going on vacation. I think finishing this project is just what I need to do to overcome all the stress I mentioned in my last post.
Another thing that is helping me get into the vacation mood- hearing my nephew playing in the background last night as I visited with my Dad (on the phone) and knowing that on TUESDAY I'll get to see him! That is in less than a week!!! I love my nephew and it has been since November and then was only a couple of days!
And yes, I am excited for the wedding. I do cherish my relationship with the bride. She may not be my "best" friend anymore, but she is still a cherished and important part of my life and I'm super excited for them and I know that they will have many wonderful years together if they remember to focus on the Lord and keep Him central in their relationship. I'm blessed to be able to celebrate her day with her.
Maybe I do wish that I could be going to the wedding with my BF or even husband, and God hasn't seen fit to bless me with that at this time, but HONESTLY that was not what was causing my confliction. For the first time in my life I'm learning to be content with my relationships. I'm working on becoming the woman the Lord wants me to be, and I'm enjoying all the relationships I have with my friends (male and female) and I'm trusting that the Lord knows the desires of my heart and I believe they are Christ honoring desires, so in due time things will happen.
It says in James that we are to ask the Lord for things expecting that they will happen. Why ask the Lord for something and then expect HIM to say no? It isn't worth wasting our breath. So, I've let HIM know my desires (quite often!) and now I just have to trust that it will happen. Till it does I need to work on growing spiritually, serving the Lord in all the ways I can at the moment and count the blessings I do have, and not worry about what I don't have.
One of those blessings is that I get to go on a week long vacation to see people that I love and visit a part of the country that I love. But first, I MUST FINISH THIS PAPER...
-ME-
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Conflicted Feelings
My hometown is in Wyoming and next week I'll be flying back to see my parents, grandma, nephew and attend a wedding.
The girl getting married is a woman that I've known her whole life, since I was 5 months old. I tend to call her best friend, but the reality is that she isn't. Maybe back when we were young we were closer, and we have ALWAYS been competitive with each other.
This is not to say that she isn't important to me, she is. I love her and hope that we are always friends, she is great: smart, funny, caring, loyal, a very good friend and I think she will make an awesome doctor.
As I think about it and think about friends in general I have a lot going through my mind, but that again is normal for me. One of the things I am thinking about is friendship. Who are my friends, and do I have a best friend?
I know and treasure a number of people, but do I really have a BEST friend? Is there someone that I tell EVERYTHING to, things that no one else knows?
That is hard for me, since I'm writing a book that is basically EVERYTHING that happened to me and that I felt in college. I don't have many skeletons in my closet. I don't believe in hiding things, that actually makes you more vulnerable. Yet, even so there are a few things that NO ONE knows, and I doubt anyone will, except maybe my husband. Even then...
Back to my original question, who is my best friend? As crazy as it may sound to some people the only person that I am TOTALLY honest with is Christ, so He would be my best friend.
Now, I do love all my friends and I don't know what I'd do without each of my friends, but as I think about things, do I even really want to say that I have a best friend, because wouldn't that be saying that some friendships are less valuable to me? The answer is that I would hate to do that, because I can't. I can't think of any of my friends (I will admit that some people I know are more acquaintances).
The other thing on my mind is the upcoming trip I mentioned earlier. I feel like I should be more excited about the trip. I'm going to see family, friends and go to the wedding. I get to go see the mountains I grew up loving, and people that I haven't seen in literally years. It is only a week (well 8 days) long.
Yet, the excitement I feel is manufactured. Yeah, it will be good to see people, but I'm not that excited to be leaving, because where I'm going is not home. This, my East Coast apt/town is home. I am happy here, and I know this is where I should be living.
The weird thing is that I grew up traveling and I LOVE to travel. I really do, so that is playing into the conflicted feelings I'm having. I'm going on a week long vacation to one of my favorite parts of the country to see people that I deeply care about. So, if I'm getting to do something that I LOVE with people that I LOVE, shouldn't I be more excited?
And what really am I leaving behind? My friends, church, choir, classes, cat, apartment, etc. will all be here when I return. It isn't like I'm going away for years, or even months. It is a WEEK by gum! So what is it that is causing me not to be excited to do something that normally has me all jazzed up?
Who knows, all I can tell you is that I'm trying, I'm really trying to get excited and start looking forward to my time away from home. Probably I'll get off the plane in MT and have a blast, so all this confliction is for naught. Maybe it is just hormones, I am female after all!
Conflicted feelings. As a counselor I realize that is just part of life, we all go through them. I just need to remind myself why I am going and get into the heart of the trip. Probably I'm just overwhelmed at everything I have to do before next week...
The girl getting married is a woman that I've known her whole life, since I was 5 months old. I tend to call her best friend, but the reality is that she isn't. Maybe back when we were young we were closer, and we have ALWAYS been competitive with each other.
This is not to say that she isn't important to me, she is. I love her and hope that we are always friends, she is great: smart, funny, caring, loyal, a very good friend and I think she will make an awesome doctor.
As I think about it and think about friends in general I have a lot going through my mind, but that again is normal for me. One of the things I am thinking about is friendship. Who are my friends, and do I have a best friend?
I know and treasure a number of people, but do I really have a BEST friend? Is there someone that I tell EVERYTHING to, things that no one else knows?
That is hard for me, since I'm writing a book that is basically EVERYTHING that happened to me and that I felt in college. I don't have many skeletons in my closet. I don't believe in hiding things, that actually makes you more vulnerable. Yet, even so there are a few things that NO ONE knows, and I doubt anyone will, except maybe my husband. Even then...
Back to my original question, who is my best friend? As crazy as it may sound to some people the only person that I am TOTALLY honest with is Christ, so He would be my best friend.
Now, I do love all my friends and I don't know what I'd do without each of my friends, but as I think about things, do I even really want to say that I have a best friend, because wouldn't that be saying that some friendships are less valuable to me? The answer is that I would hate to do that, because I can't. I can't think of any of my friends (I will admit that some people I know are more acquaintances).
The other thing on my mind is the upcoming trip I mentioned earlier. I feel like I should be more excited about the trip. I'm going to see family, friends and go to the wedding. I get to go see the mountains I grew up loving, and people that I haven't seen in literally years. It is only a week (well 8 days) long.
Yet, the excitement I feel is manufactured. Yeah, it will be good to see people, but I'm not that excited to be leaving, because where I'm going is not home. This, my East Coast apt/town is home. I am happy here, and I know this is where I should be living.
The weird thing is that I grew up traveling and I LOVE to travel. I really do, so that is playing into the conflicted feelings I'm having. I'm going on a week long vacation to one of my favorite parts of the country to see people that I deeply care about. So, if I'm getting to do something that I LOVE with people that I LOVE, shouldn't I be more excited?
And what really am I leaving behind? My friends, church, choir, classes, cat, apartment, etc. will all be here when I return. It isn't like I'm going away for years, or even months. It is a WEEK by gum! So what is it that is causing me not to be excited to do something that normally has me all jazzed up?
Who knows, all I can tell you is that I'm trying, I'm really trying to get excited and start looking forward to my time away from home. Probably I'll get off the plane in MT and have a blast, so all this confliction is for naught. Maybe it is just hormones, I am female after all!
Conflicted feelings. As a counselor I realize that is just part of life, we all go through them. I just need to remind myself why I am going and get into the heart of the trip. Probably I'm just overwhelmed at everything I have to do before next week...
Upon a Hammock
Right now I am a fantasizing about being able to sit in a hammock with a cold Long Island to nurse and my beloved cooking burgers on the grill! That just sounds like a fun summer evening to me!
That little dream is not likely to come true for awhile, so till then I am staying very busy and enjoying my summer and my friends! I am also spending a LOT of time working on my book and homework.
My goal for finishing my book is August 14, 2009. That is one month away! I am praying that I can do it! The thing about my book is that no matter how much I fuss with it, there is more fussing I want to do, something I think I should add here, something I should change there...it will never be perfect and yet I want it perfect. I want it to be perfect so that it reaches my target audience and God uses it to help women/girls/boys that are dealing with abuse. I have learned in the past years that secular therapists can help and life can seem to get back to normal but TRUE healing only comes from Christ and I want to help others see that even after we go through the darkest of the dark times we can come back to the light and sincerely ENJOY life and it can be even more joy filled than before, but we need Christ for that to happen.
So I keep playing with the book to try and make that point evident and real to others. I'm someone that has been there so I know. I also know that when it comes to dealing with healing it helps to hear from someone that not only understands the mental health aspect, but has been there.
But aside from my book I am busy getting ready to head West to my hometown. My best friend is getting married at the end of the month and I'm psyched for that. I also get to see my nephew, parents, grandma and bunches of friends! Trips are great, but as awesome as it is to go away, my favorite part is coming home again!
I love my hometown, it was a GREAT place to grow up. The people there are friendly and I always have a good time visiting and catching up, but it isn't home anymore. I was thinking about that not too long ago. It will always be my hometown, but it isn't home anymore.
The old cliche goes "Home is where the heart is" and as much as I enjoy visiting people in WY and I love them, it isn't where my heart is. My heart is here, with my neo-family and friends. When I talk about going home, it isn't to Sheridan.
Well those are just some thoughts I had today as I was wishing I could in a hammock! Enjoy your week and remember to always focus on the Lord!
-ME-
That little dream is not likely to come true for awhile, so till then I am staying very busy and enjoying my summer and my friends! I am also spending a LOT of time working on my book and homework.
My goal for finishing my book is August 14, 2009. That is one month away! I am praying that I can do it! The thing about my book is that no matter how much I fuss with it, there is more fussing I want to do, something I think I should add here, something I should change there...it will never be perfect and yet I want it perfect. I want it to be perfect so that it reaches my target audience and God uses it to help women/girls/boys that are dealing with abuse. I have learned in the past years that secular therapists can help and life can seem to get back to normal but TRUE healing only comes from Christ and I want to help others see that even after we go through the darkest of the dark times we can come back to the light and sincerely ENJOY life and it can be even more joy filled than before, but we need Christ for that to happen.
So I keep playing with the book to try and make that point evident and real to others. I'm someone that has been there so I know. I also know that when it comes to dealing with healing it helps to hear from someone that not only understands the mental health aspect, but has been there.
But aside from my book I am busy getting ready to head West to my hometown. My best friend is getting married at the end of the month and I'm psyched for that. I also get to see my nephew, parents, grandma and bunches of friends! Trips are great, but as awesome as it is to go away, my favorite part is coming home again!
I love my hometown, it was a GREAT place to grow up. The people there are friendly and I always have a good time visiting and catching up, but it isn't home anymore. I was thinking about that not too long ago. It will always be my hometown, but it isn't home anymore.
The old cliche goes "Home is where the heart is" and as much as I enjoy visiting people in WY and I love them, it isn't where my heart is. My heart is here, with my neo-family and friends. When I talk about going home, it isn't to Sheridan.
Well those are just some thoughts I had today as I was wishing I could in a hammock! Enjoy your week and remember to always focus on the Lord!
-ME-
Thursday, July 2, 2009
God Bless America
My 2nd favorite week of the year is upon me! I love Christmas because of snow and goodwill and the fact that I get to really focus on Christ coming to earth to make a way for you and me to go to Heaven. I also love Christmas music, it just makes my soul dance!
I love Independence Day for many reasons: the music is jiving, the fireworks are fun, cook-outs taste great, short work weeks. Most of all I love it because I get to exude all my patriotism and people don't look at me like I am quite so crazy! I just can't get over how much America means to me. I tear up when the colors are presented and I hear the Star Spangled Banner, or God Bless America. I really do.
America was an experiment, it was and is a challenge. America is far from perfect, and our past shows our myriad mistakes. Yet, America is also a dream land for most of the world. America is a place where people are free to learn, think, believe, act how we want (lawfully). People may ridicule me for things I say or do, but the government will not interfere (some may say that this is changing...).
I am free to choose ANY career, wear just about ANY outfit, use ANY language I want. If I were so inclined, I could sleep with a plethora of people, and the government would not do anything. For many women life is about being basically "owned" by first their father and then the husband that is forced upon them.
America is about volunteerism. We had a draft in the military for MANY years, but that was not the will of the people, so the draft was done away with, and now those that serve CHOOSE to serve with no governmental coersion. Many people also volunteer to do many things to help out their community. People do help out others. Maybe not as much as before, but it still happens.
Back to our military...it is the best trained, best equipped, top notch military in the world. Not only do our military men and women fight to protect our homeland, but we also fight to bring freedom to others. That is love.
For these reasons and OH SO MANY MORE I love America. While there are other countries that I'd enjoy living in for awhile, there is no other country that I would think of calling my home. I am so blessed to be an American.
May we all pause this week and thank God for the blessings HE has given us in this amazing country.
"Oh thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and the war's deloation. Blessed with vic'try and peace may this heaven rescued land praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation! And then conquer we must when our cause it is just. And this be our motto: in God is our trust. And the Star Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" (Star Spangled Banner by F.S. Key vs 4)
-ME-
I love Independence Day for many reasons: the music is jiving, the fireworks are fun, cook-outs taste great, short work weeks. Most of all I love it because I get to exude all my patriotism and people don't look at me like I am quite so crazy! I just can't get over how much America means to me. I tear up when the colors are presented and I hear the Star Spangled Banner, or God Bless America. I really do.
America was an experiment, it was and is a challenge. America is far from perfect, and our past shows our myriad mistakes. Yet, America is also a dream land for most of the world. America is a place where people are free to learn, think, believe, act how we want (lawfully). People may ridicule me for things I say or do, but the government will not interfere (some may say that this is changing...).
I am free to choose ANY career, wear just about ANY outfit, use ANY language I want. If I were so inclined, I could sleep with a plethora of people, and the government would not do anything. For many women life is about being basically "owned" by first their father and then the husband that is forced upon them.
America is about volunteerism. We had a draft in the military for MANY years, but that was not the will of the people, so the draft was done away with, and now those that serve CHOOSE to serve with no governmental coersion. Many people also volunteer to do many things to help out their community. People do help out others. Maybe not as much as before, but it still happens.
Back to our military...it is the best trained, best equipped, top notch military in the world. Not only do our military men and women fight to protect our homeland, but we also fight to bring freedom to others. That is love.
For these reasons and OH SO MANY MORE I love America. While there are other countries that I'd enjoy living in for awhile, there is no other country that I would think of calling my home. I am so blessed to be an American.
May we all pause this week and thank God for the blessings HE has given us in this amazing country.
"Oh thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and the war's deloation. Blessed with vic'try and peace may this heaven rescued land praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation! And then conquer we must when our cause it is just. And this be our motto: in God is our trust. And the Star Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" (Star Spangled Banner by F.S. Key vs 4)
-ME-
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