Questions

I can't believe that it is August already, much less 1/3 of the way over! Where does the time go? Some days seem long and the nights when I can't sleep, when I lie in my bed alone, I think the sun will NEVER rise. Yet, the weeks fly by and 2009 is well over half way gone! Time has a way of passing and I wonder if I'm being a good steward.

Am I serving the Lord and the people around me as much as I can? Am I making the most of these crazy weeks? What can I do to be a better blessing to my family, friends and everyone else the Lord puts in my path?

As I've been working on this book I'm writing and putting together my journal entries from college I see that I've been through a LOT. College for me was not the carefree time of learning and growing that it is for lots of students. I can't help but wonder, am I responding to my situation in the best light? Is there something else I should be doing?

I don't claim to have all the answers, and to know how to best respond to evil. That is not the point of my book. My book is about honesty. Here is what happened to me, here is how I handled it, now learn and hopefully do better. I do think I made some decent decisions in college. I never did drugs, that is one thing I can tell my kids someday.

Yet, how do I move on. Christ has forgiven me, but have I forgiven myself? Is that guilt and shame still keeping me from being totally committed to God's plan for my life?

These are the things that go through my mind as I can't sleep. Very few of them have been answered. A final question that I think about on the long, sleepless nights is: How I can be a better friend, daughter, sister, Christian tomorrow than I was today and how I can be a better steward of this fast paced life?

Because as much as I may wish that the weeks would slow I don't have that power, I just have to do my best to give 100% at 100% of the things I do each day. For I serve not myself and not my friends or my family but I serve my Lord. Everything I do should be an offering to Him.