January 5, 2012 is an important day in my family. It is the day that my husband and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Just 2 weeks ago. It is amazing how many changes have taken place in these 2 weeks. I've gone from being a wife to being a wife AND mommy.
Having my daughter has given me a whole new perspective on life. This little child depends totally on us and the choices that we make, the things we do. Her very survival is not up to her; she can't feed herself, she can't even sit up by herself.
This reminds me of how we as humans, and especially as abuse survivors are. We are totally dependent on the Lord to help us survive. I remember right after my rape how dark the days were. Raped, got pregnant, miscarried. Those were dark days. So dark that I tried to end it all. Yet, the Lord had other plans.
My survival wasn't my choice back then. I tried to leave, but my time here wasn't over, and as I look back I'm very glad. I would have stolen so much joy from myself. Yeah, I would be in Heaven and Heaven is a wonderful place- full of the grace of Christ. Yet, there is still so much joy for me here.
I would have missed out on meeting wonderful friends, times with family. I would have missed out on an amazing marriage with a man that I love more than anything. Also, I wouldn't have been here to give birth and raise my daughter. Only 2 weeks old, but oh so special. Just like God has a plan for my life, He has one for her life.
And, God has a plan for YOUR life. It is a plan for countless numbers of blessings, more smiles and tears of joy than you can imagine. It is a plan for a full life. The path isn't always easy (labor sure wasn't!), and yes there will be dark times, but God wants you to live all your days.
No matter how much pain you are in, no matter how hard it seems to just take the next step, you can do it. Don't cheat yourself out of life. Take the next step, and then the next, and the next, and pretty soon you'll be walking and after that, jogging!
Our lives are designed for joy- ours and to bring joy to the Lord. From a beautiful sunrise, the laughter of our children, a fun movie, a pretty plant, game night with friends, you name it- there is joy and happiness a plenty.
My daughter is already teaching me that even in the hard times, such as being awake in the wee hours, there is joy there. Because we serve the risen Lord, and He is the Light, we will not be in total darkness. There will always be a little light. Giving into the joy makes that light even brighter.
-JLP-
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