Is it really the last few hours of September? Where does the time go?
One of the things that I am really trying to work on this semester is to be more content. I am working on enjoying each day for the gift that it is. I'm trying to take pleasure in each little moment, because I'm not guaranteed to live beyond each moment. I might as well take full advantage of all the moments that God gives me.
I grew up on the old hymns, and I love them. They bring me such comfort, especially when I'm in the midst of a panic attack. My best coping skill for panic attacks is to sing (well try at least, it is hard to sing when I can't breathe) or at least listen to some of my favorite hymns. As much as I love hymns, this month there has been a praise chorus that has really touched my heart and has been my anthem to God. Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble? It is a great worship song.
Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your joy
Dancers who dance upon injustice
Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokeness
And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Written by Martin Smith ©1995 Curious? Music UK
I just love it. It puts me in a such hopeful and worshipful frame of mind. It is interesting to me, how certain songs touch me at certain points in my life. Music is wonderful, but it isn't the only way that we worship God. There is so much MORE to worship than just singing a few songs. We worship God with our attitudes, with our appearance (we are temples after all), and with each godly choice that we make.
Our attitudes are a big part of our worship. How we react can either bring God glory, or cause Him to shake His head. This is something I'm really working on. I'm working on praying for people on the road in lieu of thinking they are dumb drivers. I'm also working on having an attitude of praise. In stead of being frustrated with traffic, with the internet not working right, with my cat getting sick on my carpet, with a paper that comes back with a lower grade than I thought I deserved, I will be thankful that I can afford to put gas in my car, that I can get online just about anywhere, that I have a cat to love and be loved by, and that I'm in seminary learning about Christ and serving others as a lay counselor.
Our appearance can be just as worshipful. I'm not saying spend 3 hours every morning trying to look like a cover model. I am saying take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, shower and brush your teeth. And then put on modest clothing. I admit that I enjoy fashion magazines and I try to keep up with some of the styles, but don't take it to excess. Look nice, look appropriate for the event, and cover up the parts that should be covered. There is no need to go to school or work (unless you are a lifeguard) showing off too much cleavage or midriff. We all know what the human body looks like. You might as well leave something to the imagination.
Our choices are part of our worship. Are we choosing to be good stewards of our time? Are we doing activities that we would do if Jesus was walking right beside us? Jesus is always with us, but we tend to forget that, or we don't care. I'm convinced that the lives of many Christians would change if Jesus spent 24 hours walking beside them.
Do we sacrifice to help others? Jesus told us that it isn't enough to give what we have lots of. We need to go the extra mile and give when it is hard. That is how we worship, how we show God that we trust Him to take care of us. I'm not saying become homeless, but we can all afford to do a bit more than we do. And yes, I'm preaching to myself here.
Overall, we need to remember that our lives are for God's glory, and God is glorified and worshiped in many ways, not just through song. Singing is wonderful, but our actions speak louder than our words. As a counselor I am learning that it isn't enough to ask people where their priorities lie, I need to hear about what they do each day. Their actions are a bigger clue to what is going on than their words.
For me, it is showing God that I am thankful for each day, that I'm trying to be loving and more worshipful, that I'm trying to be thankful for the little moments, for being here at seminary. I love that I get to come here, to a place where I am encouraged, nay required to learn more about Christ! What could be better!?! My homework requires me to pray, to study His love letter to me, to grow in Him! Please, throw me in the briar patch!!!
As I say so long to September, I'm grateful for the lessons that I've learned, for the moments of intimacy with my Savior, for the time with friends and family, for the hard times as well. I'm thankful for the month, for the 30 days, and all those moments. I look forward to October and 31 more days (hopefully!) to try to bring my God more glory.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
An "Only in America" Moment
I just went outside to take a few bags to the trash. It is about dinner time on a Friday evening. It is overcast and cooler. As I walked to the trash bin I saw 4 black guys (early 20's I'd say) standing outside in their white wife beater shirts and jeans pulled down to their knees. There was 1 guy standing on the step, so he kinda towered about them.
A normal scene in my neighborhood. In fact I know the boys a little bit, they attend my school. I think they are all seniors. Anyway, the guy on the step was literally lecturing his friends on how the electoral worked and why Bush beat Gore in the Florida vote fiasco. It was a riot.
As I walked back to my building (they were outside the next building over) he was continuing his oration, only he had moved on to the current election. He was telling his friends why they shouldn't vote for Obama! He said (and I quote) "if we n****gs (I refuse to type the word) were smart we would vote for McCain. Obama thinks he is superior to all blacks just because he got into Harvard. I'm no less of an American because I choose to go to a Christian school."
And then I was out of earshot. That is my Only in America moment for today!
A normal scene in my neighborhood. In fact I know the boys a little bit, they attend my school. I think they are all seniors. Anyway, the guy on the step was literally lecturing his friends on how the electoral worked and why Bush beat Gore in the Florida vote fiasco. It was a riot.
As I walked back to my building (they were outside the next building over) he was continuing his oration, only he had moved on to the current election. He was telling his friends why they shouldn't vote for Obama! He said (and I quote) "if we n****gs (I refuse to type the word) were smart we would vote for McCain. Obama thinks he is superior to all blacks just because he got into Harvard. I'm no less of an American because I choose to go to a Christian school."
And then I was out of earshot. That is my Only in America moment for today!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Relationships
Life is never what it seems to be. There are bumps in the road, and the bumps in the road should be reminders for us to pray and pray hard.
As I'm learning about relationships and how to counsel people in different types of relationships I am encouraged, but I'm also more aware of what is going on in relationships these days.
For instance, I have friends and family going through divorces and major marital problems. Divorce, abuse, pain, confusion and all sorts of problems play into what is going on in our world. Life has never been easy. Each century faces its own challenges, some of them unique and some of them are universal. It seems that divorce is so common these days. It makes those of us that are single a bit weary about the institution. Not, that we don't want to get married, we are just aware that the chances that it will be "happily ever after" are slim.
One of the other hot buttons in relationships these days is the idea of same-sex relationships. The newest person I have heard that is "out of the closet" is the gospel singer Ray Boltz (Thank You, Shepherd Boy, Pledge Allegiance to the Lamb, etc.). I find this to be sad, but also an urge to be on my knees in prayer for the direction that our country is taking.
Of course there is also politics to discuss. All Christians that are eligible should register to vote, pay attention to the issues and where the candidates stand (local, state and federal), pray about the decisions and then in November go out and vote. By law your employer/school is required to allow you the time to go to the polls. There is NO EXCUSE to not vote.
All elected officials make decisions everyday that can and do have an affect on our relationships. The legality of same-sex marriage is one of them. Financial decisions affect relationships, decisions regarding military action and personal views affect relationships.
Relationships are not easy for anyone. They require sacrifice, patience, love, conflict resolution skills and a desire for success.
I want all my friends and family to know that I am praying for you and praying that you can successfully negotiate the speed bumps of 21st century life.
As I'm learning about relationships and how to counsel people in different types of relationships I am encouraged, but I'm also more aware of what is going on in relationships these days.
For instance, I have friends and family going through divorces and major marital problems. Divorce, abuse, pain, confusion and all sorts of problems play into what is going on in our world. Life has never been easy. Each century faces its own challenges, some of them unique and some of them are universal. It seems that divorce is so common these days. It makes those of us that are single a bit weary about the institution. Not, that we don't want to get married, we are just aware that the chances that it will be "happily ever after" are slim.
One of the other hot buttons in relationships these days is the idea of same-sex relationships. The newest person I have heard that is "out of the closet" is the gospel singer Ray Boltz (Thank You, Shepherd Boy, Pledge Allegiance to the Lamb, etc.). I find this to be sad, but also an urge to be on my knees in prayer for the direction that our country is taking.
Of course there is also politics to discuss. All Christians that are eligible should register to vote, pay attention to the issues and where the candidates stand (local, state and federal), pray about the decisions and then in November go out and vote. By law your employer/school is required to allow you the time to go to the polls. There is NO EXCUSE to not vote.
All elected officials make decisions everyday that can and do have an affect on our relationships. The legality of same-sex marriage is one of them. Financial decisions affect relationships, decisions regarding military action and personal views affect relationships.
Relationships are not easy for anyone. They require sacrifice, patience, love, conflict resolution skills and a desire for success.
I want all my friends and family to know that I am praying for you and praying that you can successfully negotiate the speed bumps of 21st century life.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
What I think About when I'm NOT Asleep...
The first race in the NSCS chase was today up in New Hampshire. There were many notable moments in the race. Earnhardt Jr. did really well, and Carl Edwards is now in the lead, after his 3rd place finish today! But even more exciting for me was how well Truex Jr. did... another top 10 finish. I know he isn't in the chase, but I'm still cheering him on. Out of the drivers in the chase I'd love to see either Edwards or Earnhardt Jr. win.
The PACKERS WON!!! At first it looked to be a thrashing, and then we LET them take the lead (and my sis heard my wrath at that), but in the end we spanked those Lions! Now, we have sole control of 1st place in the NFC North, because the other teams are week 2 losers!!! =-)
Long distance relationships are hard, military relationships are hard and it leaves people to wonder- is it worth it? How much do we love the other person? Is it enough to make the relationship work? Or is God tugging on our hearts and telling us, that this isn't His perfect will? If it was His will, than the hurdles would be dealt with and would not seem to be Mt. Everest.
12am is a great time to think, to think and to pray. It is quiet and there isn't much on television that is worth watching (I know). So I'm left to think, to pray and to talk with Queens. About life, school, the future, Christ, sports (she seems to enjoy Nascar and Indy car over football...I might have to get a new cat! Or I need to work on growing her love for the Packers...but she seems to be more attentive when I talk cars, like her Mom she is strange! I love it!).
There is just so much to think about. Life is never boring, and being awake shouldn't be boring either. I don't think that it is, I just think that it can be frustrating at times. To lie awake in my super comfortable bed and just have hours to ponder life. To wonder if I am making the decisions the Lord wants to me make. What more could I be doing to honor Him? How could I spend the day bringing hope to more people (realizing that the Lord created somewhat of a hermit in me), being a blessing to those around me, and most importantly living the life Christ would want me to live. Doing all that is tough when you are exhausted! Knowing the right steps to take is tough when you don't even know how you are going to take a step and not fall over tired, much less the right step!!!
Yet, none of the weariness is important really. God promises us that we ALL grow weary, we ALL need the energy of God, to lean on Him. None of us can do this alone. We are not created to go out on our own- we are created to go out hand in hand with Christ. When we lean on Christ we have Him giving us strength that is far beyond what we are capable of.
It is like when I run with my friends that are ROTC, or GI's- I might get tired, in fact I'm guaranteed to get tired! But then I use their strength (read "drill Sergent imitations"!) and suddenly I can go that extra distance, I don't have to walk. We are made to help each other, and to get the biggest push from the Lord.
My thoughts may not be all organized, they may be scatter points, but it is when the sun is gone, when the world is quiet that I can hear the Lord the best and that I can feel closer to Him. Maybe that is why I love Wyoming so much. There are less voices, less distractions, it is easier to go off to my special spots where I am in nature and just with Him. That and at Arlington National Cemetery. That is a great place for reflection as well. Anywhere that is quiet- my den works too. But, I've found that I need these times to just be with Him.
He generally doesn't unfold a scroll and show me the plan for my life. I'm not sure I'd really want Him to do that. But, He does let me know that as long as I stay on course, pray, read Scripture, seek counsel, than He will be there, and I can't get too lost. His strength is mine for the asking. His energy is mine for the asking. He has so much power that He is willing to impart to us- we just have to ask with faith.
Another thing I think about, and have since I was a 5 year old girl. When will I get married and what he look like? How many kids will we have? Where will we live? All the fun questions of the future. I know some people say "give up looking and just focus on living for Christ." But how many things in life come to those that just stumble upon them? Not that many. Newton discovered gravity and the like through paying attention to nature and seeing how apples fell and then experimenting. Lincoln didn't just become President by sitting in his little log cabin and waiting for the Chief Justice to come and swear him in- he went out and got it, he worked for it.
I think it is sometimes the same with marriage. We can't just sit around and do nothing. Marriage is a holy institution that God designed, because men and women shouldn't be alone. God has people in mind for each of us. For some, celibacy may be His plan, but for most of us, His plan is marriage. So, searching for that person- earnestly seeking God's will and following where He leads is a fine and worthy endeavor.
Now, I'm not condoning dating every Tom, Sally or Billy Marie. I am saying that looking for the person, wanting to get married, praying about it, and then making a move is NOT A BAD THING. For most of us that wind up getting hitched, it isn't going to be to the UPS person that delivered a package to you and then proposed! It is going to take some trial and error.
It is going to take spending time with people and getting to know them. But, this can be done in a Christ honoring way. Going out to dinner, mini golf, the movies, a presidential debate can be fun, a great ways to get to know someone, and it can be done without having to give your heart away and be intimate. Getting to know someone and knowing if they are the person for you, is not the same as dating on Friends, Sex and the City or Greys Anatomy.
In my revamped book that I hope to have ready to send to publishers around the time I graduate, I plan to focus more on recovering from sexual abuse (as a primary and secondary victim) and then moving on with life and living a fulfilled, joy filled Christian life. One chapter will be dedicated to the search for a spouse- because many issues come up then for the rape survivor. More so than for lots of other people. So look for more discussion on seeking God's will in this area in my book!
Being as this blog is so LONG (sorry!) I might as well end now. I could go on and on and on! But I won't! I pray that y'all have a blessed Monday. I plan to enjoy living one more day knowing that no matter how confused I am, no matter how tired I am, how stressed I am, or so joyous I am, I am loved by the Lord and I can run to Him for: energy, strength, mercy, grace, forgiveness and love! My God (and hopefully your God) is an Awesome GOD!!!
Goodnight!
JLK/PRT
The PACKERS WON!!! At first it looked to be a thrashing, and then we LET them take the lead (and my sis heard my wrath at that), but in the end we spanked those Lions! Now, we have sole control of 1st place in the NFC North, because the other teams are week 2 losers!!! =-)
Long distance relationships are hard, military relationships are hard and it leaves people to wonder- is it worth it? How much do we love the other person? Is it enough to make the relationship work? Or is God tugging on our hearts and telling us, that this isn't His perfect will? If it was His will, than the hurdles would be dealt with and would not seem to be Mt. Everest.
12am is a great time to think, to think and to pray. It is quiet and there isn't much on television that is worth watching (I know). So I'm left to think, to pray and to talk with Queens. About life, school, the future, Christ, sports (she seems to enjoy Nascar and Indy car over football...I might have to get a new cat! Or I need to work on growing her love for the Packers...but she seems to be more attentive when I talk cars, like her Mom she is strange! I love it!).
There is just so much to think about. Life is never boring, and being awake shouldn't be boring either. I don't think that it is, I just think that it can be frustrating at times. To lie awake in my super comfortable bed and just have hours to ponder life. To wonder if I am making the decisions the Lord wants to me make. What more could I be doing to honor Him? How could I spend the day bringing hope to more people (realizing that the Lord created somewhat of a hermit in me), being a blessing to those around me, and most importantly living the life Christ would want me to live. Doing all that is tough when you are exhausted! Knowing the right steps to take is tough when you don't even know how you are going to take a step and not fall over tired, much less the right step!!!
Yet, none of the weariness is important really. God promises us that we ALL grow weary, we ALL need the energy of God, to lean on Him. None of us can do this alone. We are not created to go out on our own- we are created to go out hand in hand with Christ. When we lean on Christ we have Him giving us strength that is far beyond what we are capable of.
It is like when I run with my friends that are ROTC, or GI's- I might get tired, in fact I'm guaranteed to get tired! But then I use their strength (read "drill Sergent imitations"!) and suddenly I can go that extra distance, I don't have to walk. We are made to help each other, and to get the biggest push from the Lord.
My thoughts may not be all organized, they may be scatter points, but it is when the sun is gone, when the world is quiet that I can hear the Lord the best and that I can feel closer to Him. Maybe that is why I love Wyoming so much. There are less voices, less distractions, it is easier to go off to my special spots where I am in nature and just with Him. That and at Arlington National Cemetery. That is a great place for reflection as well. Anywhere that is quiet- my den works too. But, I've found that I need these times to just be with Him.
He generally doesn't unfold a scroll and show me the plan for my life. I'm not sure I'd really want Him to do that. But, He does let me know that as long as I stay on course, pray, read Scripture, seek counsel, than He will be there, and I can't get too lost. His strength is mine for the asking. His energy is mine for the asking. He has so much power that He is willing to impart to us- we just have to ask with faith.
Another thing I think about, and have since I was a 5 year old girl. When will I get married and what he look like? How many kids will we have? Where will we live? All the fun questions of the future. I know some people say "give up looking and just focus on living for Christ." But how many things in life come to those that just stumble upon them? Not that many. Newton discovered gravity and the like through paying attention to nature and seeing how apples fell and then experimenting. Lincoln didn't just become President by sitting in his little log cabin and waiting for the Chief Justice to come and swear him in- he went out and got it, he worked for it.
I think it is sometimes the same with marriage. We can't just sit around and do nothing. Marriage is a holy institution that God designed, because men and women shouldn't be alone. God has people in mind for each of us. For some, celibacy may be His plan, but for most of us, His plan is marriage. So, searching for that person- earnestly seeking God's will and following where He leads is a fine and worthy endeavor.
Now, I'm not condoning dating every Tom, Sally or Billy Marie. I am saying that looking for the person, wanting to get married, praying about it, and then making a move is NOT A BAD THING. For most of us that wind up getting hitched, it isn't going to be to the UPS person that delivered a package to you and then proposed! It is going to take some trial and error.
It is going to take spending time with people and getting to know them. But, this can be done in a Christ honoring way. Going out to dinner, mini golf, the movies, a presidential debate can be fun, a great ways to get to know someone, and it can be done without having to give your heart away and be intimate. Getting to know someone and knowing if they are the person for you, is not the same as dating on Friends, Sex and the City or Greys Anatomy.
In my revamped book that I hope to have ready to send to publishers around the time I graduate, I plan to focus more on recovering from sexual abuse (as a primary and secondary victim) and then moving on with life and living a fulfilled, joy filled Christian life. One chapter will be dedicated to the search for a spouse- because many issues come up then for the rape survivor. More so than for lots of other people. So look for more discussion on seeking God's will in this area in my book!
Being as this blog is so LONG (sorry!) I might as well end now. I could go on and on and on! But I won't! I pray that y'all have a blessed Monday. I plan to enjoy living one more day knowing that no matter how confused I am, no matter how tired I am, how stressed I am, or so joyous I am, I am loved by the Lord and I can run to Him for: energy, strength, mercy, grace, forgiveness and love! My God (and hopefully your God) is an Awesome GOD!!!
Goodnight!
JLK/PRT
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Politics and Remembering
First of all I want to say that I have to give Obama credit. His lipstick on a pig comment, and his feigned outrage at the media for airing it all over the world is smart. Right now the media and America are talking about the comment and not his education plan that he unveiled this week. His plan is weak, and wrong for the country, but are we talking about it? Nope, because we are focused on what a pig he is to obliquely refer to Palin in that way. It is good that his true colors are showing, but awful that we are focused on the wrong issues.
Second, a big THANK YOU goes out to all the men and women in uniform and to their friends and family that sacrifice so much each day that we don't have a repeat of 9-11-01. We are vulnerable in many areas, but for 7 years there hasn't been a repeat here. It isn't for lack of the terrorists trying, but it is due to the hardwork and sacrifice of brave men and women fighting to protect us. So once again THANKS!!! I'm so proud to be an American and to know personally many people that put on the uniform of our military, or work in DC and everyday they do their jobs so that I can come to seminary, drive my car, and wear whatever I want.
In many nations women are told who they have to marry, where they can and can't go, and what to wear. They are not allowed as much education, and they can be killed for ALLOWING a man to rape her. America is so amazing because I can do whatever I want, when I want and how I want. The justice system is on my side.
One of my favorite places to go in DC is to Arlington, to watch the changing of the guard, and to wander around the headstones and think of all the sacrifices that have been made for me, for you and for all Americans. Each headstone represents not only that soldier, but the soldier's family and friends and: love, duty, sacrifice, patriotism, courage, valor, oh so much!
The Lord works in mysterious ways... so far this semester 3 people have told that they think I should be a military chaplain after I graduate. So I'm praying about it, because it seems like something the Lord wants me to at least contemplate. I could use your prayers that the Lord makes it evident that I know what to do after I graduate and that he opens the doors quite widely, so that I can't miss His perfect will for my life. THANKS.
Remember to register to vote in November!
Second, a big THANK YOU goes out to all the men and women in uniform and to their friends and family that sacrifice so much each day that we don't have a repeat of 9-11-01. We are vulnerable in many areas, but for 7 years there hasn't been a repeat here. It isn't for lack of the terrorists trying, but it is due to the hardwork and sacrifice of brave men and women fighting to protect us. So once again THANKS!!! I'm so proud to be an American and to know personally many people that put on the uniform of our military, or work in DC and everyday they do their jobs so that I can come to seminary, drive my car, and wear whatever I want.
In many nations women are told who they have to marry, where they can and can't go, and what to wear. They are not allowed as much education, and they can be killed for ALLOWING a man to rape her. America is so amazing because I can do whatever I want, when I want and how I want. The justice system is on my side.
One of my favorite places to go in DC is to Arlington, to watch the changing of the guard, and to wander around the headstones and think of all the sacrifices that have been made for me, for you and for all Americans. Each headstone represents not only that soldier, but the soldier's family and friends and: love, duty, sacrifice, patriotism, courage, valor, oh so much!
The Lord works in mysterious ways... so far this semester 3 people have told that they think I should be a military chaplain after I graduate. So I'm praying about it, because it seems like something the Lord wants me to at least contemplate. I could use your prayers that the Lord makes it evident that I know what to do after I graduate and that he opens the doors quite widely, so that I can't miss His perfect will for my life. THANKS.
Remember to register to vote in November!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
September Continues
Tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of the WTC attacks, and it is my great Aunt's birthday. Must mean that September is in full swing!
I love September because September leads to October and October is normally just beautiful--full of color and COOLER!!! Not to mention fresh apples and harvest. I just love Autumn. Such a beautiful and wonderful time of the year. Full of hope and anticipation of the end of the year, but wonderful in its own right.
Mom was here for awhile and that was of course wonderful. School is going well and I loved having her here. It was great. On Monday a couple of my cousins came up from Raleigh and I got to give them a tour of Liberty. That was a blast. I enjoy showing off my school.
Not too much else is going on. Just typical school stuff. I'm loving this election. Sarah Palin was a GREAT choice. I agree with her on most issues. Plus, I'm all for female empowerment!!! It is great to see a conservative, erudite female do so well. Not to mention I'm so NOT A FAN of Obama. He scares me and annoys the heck out of me. He made a really low blow at Palin (yesterday). And now he is blaming the media that it is going around! If you don't want the bad press than SHUT UP!!! It isn't the media's fault that he made an idiotic remark!!
Have a great and blessed week!!!
I love September because September leads to October and October is normally just beautiful--full of color and COOLER!!! Not to mention fresh apples and harvest. I just love Autumn. Such a beautiful and wonderful time of the year. Full of hope and anticipation of the end of the year, but wonderful in its own right.
Mom was here for awhile and that was of course wonderful. School is going well and I loved having her here. It was great. On Monday a couple of my cousins came up from Raleigh and I got to give them a tour of Liberty. That was a blast. I enjoy showing off my school.
Not too much else is going on. Just typical school stuff. I'm loving this election. Sarah Palin was a GREAT choice. I agree with her on most issues. Plus, I'm all for female empowerment!!! It is great to see a conservative, erudite female do so well. Not to mention I'm so NOT A FAN of Obama. He scares me and annoys the heck out of me. He made a really low blow at Palin (yesterday). And now he is blaming the media that it is going around! If you don't want the bad press than SHUT UP!!! It isn't the media's fault that he made an idiotic remark!!
Have a great and blessed week!!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Still Single in America
So much of our focus is on finding a husband or a wife, of starting a family of our own. Singleness is seen as a temporary state of being, something that we "grow" out of as we get older and more mature. It is expected that we will all find our "special someone" and settle down into adulthood.
Yet, that trend is changing. It is estimated that 20% of the people of my generation (generation Y) will never marry!
But the focus still remains on marriage. Marriage is seen as a right of passage, it is what you do if you are a mature adult. Especially within the church. Singles are a separate segment of the church, and we are seen as just passing time till we get married and grow up. Many churches don't know what to do with their single adults. Especially once we finish our schooling. By then it is expected that we will have found our spouse.
What about those of us that haven't? Not all of us are single by choice! Some of us do yearn for a spouse and are anxiously awaiting, trying to find that special someone. We want that special and unique relationship. We do wonder what we have done wrong, what we haven't done, why we are not married yet. Yet, we try not to let that stop us from living a dynamic and fulfilling life full of zeal for the Lord and ardor for the growth of the kingdom.
As singles we are in a unique position. We don't have the demands of family to hinder us- so we should have more time to devote to the church and the work of the kingdom. So why do churches put us in a corner. Yes it is true that we don't understand the intricacies of marriage, being unmarried, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't interact with married people. The majority of our friends are married and probably starting to have kids.
Singles groups are great, and I'm all for them, but shouldn't we let singles and married couples mingle more? There is so much that we can learn from each other.
And while I'm on the topic, is it ungodly to yearn for a spouse? Not according to my research. Proverbs 18:22 states "He who FINDS a wife finds what is good and receives honor from the Lord" (NIV) to find something generally means that you were actively looking for it. Otherwise it would read "He who spies, or comes upon a wife...". The Bible is telling us to be on the look-out.
On the other hand I do not think that we should be wearing neon, flashing signs that say "I'm single, HELP!". Our primary goal should not be marriage, but communion with the Lord. Jesus needs to always be our first and foremost, our best friend and the lover of our souls. Yet, once we have established a vital and growing relationship with the Lord, we are allowed to seek. In Matthew Jesus invites us to "Ask and it will be given unto you, seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened." (Matt. 7:7-8)
God is in the business of lavishing us with blessings. I'm not here to promote the "Prosperity Gospel" because that isn't what I mean. What I mean is that God is a kind and generous Father, who loves to see His obedient children receive gifts. For when He gives us gifts He in turn receives the glory (if we are living obedient and Christ like lives). Plus, He just loves us that much. The Gospels tell us "He loves to give you the desires of your heart." If you desire it, and it is a heavenly treasure, than go for it. Pursue it. But, first pursue love and pursue Christ, and if during the active and wonderful pursuit of Christ, you pursue a godly and fulfilling relationship, AMEN.
Yet, not all of us seek and desire to be married. We are satisfied with our single life. Paul was, his pursuit was not marriage (though some would argue that before we really pick up his story, he was married). Being single is a unique gift that many, many people treasure and yearn for. That is awesome and it is just as Biblical a lifestyle as marriage is. Neither lifestyle is better or more godly. Neither is the pursuit of 1 lifestyle over the other. Paul, of course found singleness gave him more time to reach the lost and feed the souls of the growing church.
There is a cliche that has been around for eons. "God helps those who help themselves" and while it isn't straight from the Bible, it has some truth to it. God isn't just going to ring the doorbell and hand you everything on a silver platter. You have to get out and start working. Get out there and affect the kingdom, make eternally positive choices. Be the change, be the light. And along the way you will find that many of your desires are fulfilled.
Growing up my deep desire was to be on the SHS gymnastics team. So, I took lessons, joined a club and worked out. I talked to coaches and I did what I needed to be on the team. God granted my desire, but not without my hardwork and actively pursuing the dream. Relationships are just the same. God will help us, He will bring someone into our lives, if that is His will, but it probably won't happen if we live in a cave in inner Mongolia or if we huddle in a hut on top of Pike's Peak. We have to be in the world (but not of it).
So whether you desire to remain single or you desire to enter into a godly marriage, pursue Christ first and foremost. Seek the wisdom of the Lord and spend your time serving Him. But be in prayer and be active in the life you desire. Praying and laying your deep desires before the Lord is the best way for them to be answered. God loves to hear from us. He loves to dialog with us, and He loves to help grow us into more godly people, people that bring Him the glory, and reflect His love.
Yet, that trend is changing. It is estimated that 20% of the people of my generation (generation Y) will never marry!
But the focus still remains on marriage. Marriage is seen as a right of passage, it is what you do if you are a mature adult. Especially within the church. Singles are a separate segment of the church, and we are seen as just passing time till we get married and grow up. Many churches don't know what to do with their single adults. Especially once we finish our schooling. By then it is expected that we will have found our spouse.
What about those of us that haven't? Not all of us are single by choice! Some of us do yearn for a spouse and are anxiously awaiting, trying to find that special someone. We want that special and unique relationship. We do wonder what we have done wrong, what we haven't done, why we are not married yet. Yet, we try not to let that stop us from living a dynamic and fulfilling life full of zeal for the Lord and ardor for the growth of the kingdom.
As singles we are in a unique position. We don't have the demands of family to hinder us- so we should have more time to devote to the church and the work of the kingdom. So why do churches put us in a corner. Yes it is true that we don't understand the intricacies of marriage, being unmarried, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't interact with married people. The majority of our friends are married and probably starting to have kids.
Singles groups are great, and I'm all for them, but shouldn't we let singles and married couples mingle more? There is so much that we can learn from each other.
And while I'm on the topic, is it ungodly to yearn for a spouse? Not according to my research. Proverbs 18:22 states "He who FINDS a wife finds what is good and receives honor from the Lord" (NIV) to find something generally means that you were actively looking for it. Otherwise it would read "He who spies, or comes upon a wife...". The Bible is telling us to be on the look-out.
On the other hand I do not think that we should be wearing neon, flashing signs that say "I'm single, HELP!". Our primary goal should not be marriage, but communion with the Lord. Jesus needs to always be our first and foremost, our best friend and the lover of our souls. Yet, once we have established a vital and growing relationship with the Lord, we are allowed to seek. In Matthew Jesus invites us to "Ask and it will be given unto you, seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened." (Matt. 7:7-8)
God is in the business of lavishing us with blessings. I'm not here to promote the "Prosperity Gospel" because that isn't what I mean. What I mean is that God is a kind and generous Father, who loves to see His obedient children receive gifts. For when He gives us gifts He in turn receives the glory (if we are living obedient and Christ like lives). Plus, He just loves us that much. The Gospels tell us "He loves to give you the desires of your heart." If you desire it, and it is a heavenly treasure, than go for it. Pursue it. But, first pursue love and pursue Christ, and if during the active and wonderful pursuit of Christ, you pursue a godly and fulfilling relationship, AMEN.
Yet, not all of us seek and desire to be married. We are satisfied with our single life. Paul was, his pursuit was not marriage (though some would argue that before we really pick up his story, he was married). Being single is a unique gift that many, many people treasure and yearn for. That is awesome and it is just as Biblical a lifestyle as marriage is. Neither lifestyle is better or more godly. Neither is the pursuit of 1 lifestyle over the other. Paul, of course found singleness gave him more time to reach the lost and feed the souls of the growing church.
There is a cliche that has been around for eons. "God helps those who help themselves" and while it isn't straight from the Bible, it has some truth to it. God isn't just going to ring the doorbell and hand you everything on a silver platter. You have to get out and start working. Get out there and affect the kingdom, make eternally positive choices. Be the change, be the light. And along the way you will find that many of your desires are fulfilled.
Growing up my deep desire was to be on the SHS gymnastics team. So, I took lessons, joined a club and worked out. I talked to coaches and I did what I needed to be on the team. God granted my desire, but not without my hardwork and actively pursuing the dream. Relationships are just the same. God will help us, He will bring someone into our lives, if that is His will, but it probably won't happen if we live in a cave in inner Mongolia or if we huddle in a hut on top of Pike's Peak. We have to be in the world (but not of it).
So whether you desire to remain single or you desire to enter into a godly marriage, pursue Christ first and foremost. Seek the wisdom of the Lord and spend your time serving Him. But be in prayer and be active in the life you desire. Praying and laying your deep desires before the Lord is the best way for them to be answered. God loves to hear from us. He loves to dialog with us, and He loves to help grow us into more godly people, people that bring Him the glory, and reflect His love.
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