Focusing on the Light

I had a therapy session this morning, which was a very needed thing if you've kept up with my blog. I'm still praying about whether or not I should go on Abilify for awhile, but for now I'm not. But we will see.

Anyway, after my session (or really during it) I realized a few things and one of them is that I need to focus more on the light, or good things in this life. God has blessed me with so much. As my counselor was saying I have been through a lot, and I've seen and experienced first hand more than my fair share of the dark side of life and the evil of this world. I know that life can really be yucky.

And yes, I haven't really grieved for Em or now for Mike and Tiffany, but I need to let myself when I am ready to grieve. I haven't yet because I'm not yet ready to grieve, and the grief will come in its own time. I need to know worry so much on that and focus on the light.

By focusing on the light I mean the lighter side of life, the good things. As much yuckiness as I've experienced I've also experienced so many good things too. I was there the night my nephew was born and that is pretty cool, I graduated from college with a pretty high GPA, I had a job that I was quite good at for 2 years. I've participated in and attended multiple weddings for friends, and now I'm about to graduate from seminary with a Master's degree in counseling and go on for a PhD in pastoral counseling. That is quite a lot of GOOD stuff (even factoring out what I had to overcome to make it this far)! I need to focus on those, and on the daily blessings in my life as well.

One of the daily blessings that I know I sometimes take for granted are my friends. I'm surrounded by a myriad of wonderful people here in VA. I have people that are here and that care for me, and that I can come to when life has me down, but are also my friends and just FUN to be with all the time. I'd list them, but I don't want to leave anyone out.

I also have a cat that I love and that keeps the house from being lonely. I have the opportunity to study and get educated to fulfill my calling, and VA is just a beautiful state. As much as I love the mountains of Wyoming, and I do, I've fallen in love with VA and I am so blessed to be, surrounded by natural beauty.

I could go on and on listing the good things. I need to focus on them and focus on the Giver of all those good things. The grief will come when I'm ready, and I should not try to force it. So for now I'm going to focus on Christ and revel in the blessings that He showers me with each and every day, for even in the midst of the darkness there is joy and blessing.

-Paige-