10 Years Ago

We never know what our lives will be like. We never know where our journey will take us. We can plan and dream but we are not guaranteed any of those plans or dreams.

When I left home for college I THOUGHT that I'd go to school, meet a man, get married, graduate with my degree in elementary education. I was then going to move back to my home town, teach till we started our family, stay home with them till they were in school and then go back to teaching.

Life had other plans for me. 10 years ago, on Feb. 2, 2002 I was brutually raped (you could call it torture, based on what they did to me. The 2 men were into S&M). That event derailed all my plans and dreams.

It was a journey I went on, and one that I realize I'm still on. Even 10 years later I'm still dealing with the repercussions of my rape, miscarriage and suicide attempt. I still have nightmares once in awhile. I still don't like being in large crowds of people I don't know (I do it, because I want to reach out to people and share God's story of my life and offer hope to others, but it takes a lot prayer each time), even in large crowds that are full of family I have trouble.

Yet, it is a journey that is full of more hope than tragedy. I have hope and joy because through my experiences I have learned just how real Christ is, just how far He goes to offer us renewal and joy. It doesn't matter what we go through, God can use it for His glory, and if we let Him, we can see that there is joy in sorrow, there is life after _______________.

10 years ago I had fear, lonliness and despair. 10 years ago I felt abandoned. And now, I have the blessed assurance that Jesus really is mine, and all the amazing benefits of that! As icing on the cake I have a husband that I'm head over heels in love with, I have a new daughter that is the joy of our lives, I have family and friends that love us and support us.

10 years ago my journey took a sharp turn, and as horrific as that turn was, I wouldn't change it (wouldn't wish the experience on ANYONE, but wouldn't change it) because that new path I went on has brought me to where I am today and where I am today is a pretty good place. I am safely in the generous, protective, loving, forgiving, guiding, encouraging, disciplining, saving arms of Christ and as HIS princess I am abundantly blessed.