God Bless the USA

As many of you know I have a heart for the US military. I have always been a patriotic person, I tear up when I hear the Star Spangled Banner and I get up and put my hand over my heart (even when watching a DVD at home). I am so very thankful to be an American, and to live in a country where hundreds of thousands of men and women voluntarily give up their rights and freedoms to protect mine and to protect the ideals and spread the ideals around the world.

Having a lot of friends in the military is not always an easy thing. Military life is tough. It is tough for the military person and for those that love them and that live the lifestyle with them (spouses and kids). Right now our military members are under attack by the evil one (Satan). The suicide rate is sky-rocketing and that is just one of the myriad of reasons that I'm pursuing my PhD.

I'll graduate on May 9 with my M.A. in Pastoral Counseling and I plan to start right on working toward my PhD in Pastoral Counseling with a focus on military crisis intervention. I'm really excited that God is opening these doors for me, because I whole heartedly believe that our military members need and have earned the right to better psychological care. It is also my way of reaching to a people group that needs the Lord.

So as I work toward my degrees and I learn even more about the military and I hang out with my military friends I have to say that they are an inspiring group, and they have taught me so much about service, duty, dedication and love. For all that they do for us, each day I just want to say THANKS and GOD BLESS THE USA!!!!

The economy is taking the majority of time on the news, but let us not forget the sacrifices that are being quietly made by our military family each and every day.

-Paige-

Let Us Approach the Throne...

God has given us so much. The most important of which is His love. God love's us and it is due to His love that we are still here (think about the account of Noah, God almost wiped humanity off the face of the earth). Not only are we still here, but God came to earth, lived a perfect life, died and rose again so that we can call on Him and reserve a spot in Heaven. How marvelous! How wonderful!

Not only does God save us from Hell, but He lets us, nay He encourages and WANTS us to come to Him in prayer-about anything and everything! The GOD of the universe cares about us and everything that we care about! How humbling is that???

Not even our parents or spouse cares about us with half as much love and interest as the Lord. The Lord cares about the number of hairs on our head. When we are glad and celebratory, HE is right there celebrating with us. When we are confused and nervous HE is right there whispering encouragement and answers. When we hurt and are grieving, HE is right there to wipe our tears and put joy in our hearts.

This week has already been a special week for me, and it is only Tuesday morning (0755 est)! Sunday was great, Huckabee did a great sermon on the Prodigal's Son, the baptism and the music were a balm to my soul, something I needed. Yeah, I had a panic attack and it affected my driving Sunday night (and once again, UGH--I'm sorry C & M). But then last night was great.

I couldn't sleep last night. I just couldn't get comfortable and I didn't feel great (upset stomach). I watched Fireproof and enjoyed it (Kirk Cameron is great!). I tried to sleep, but at 0415 est this morning I knew that I wasn't going to get any sleep. So in the wee hours of the morning I got out of my cozy bed and went down the hall to my t.v. room. I lit a couple of candles and turned on my worship play list on iTunes and I knelt by my pew (yep I have a church pew! Kinda cool and it is from the church I grew up in). For 2 hours I just prayed, worshiped, read and prayed Scripture, confessed and just poured all my thoughts out to the Lord.

And even though I've had NO sleep and I'm on Zyrtec, I have more energy than I've had in awhile. It was a special two hours for me, and a great way to start a Tuesday. I don't have all the answers, and I know that there are still things I have to deal with, but I'm refreshed and it feels great. As I reflect upon my prayer time I'm humbled to think that I, in my sin and as a normal, ordinary woman can talk to GOD about everything, and HE HEARS ME! HE also hears everyone else at well.

GOD is so amazing and so wonderful! It is probably why 2 of my favorite songs are:

Lifting hands in song and dance
Humbled by the glory of the cross
We've been redeemed and reconciled
Caught up in the splendor of it all
Eternal life You gave
So we will bring song of praise

How wonderful
How lovely is Your name
You captivate our hearts
You save us by Your grace

God of mercy, God of love
How we marvel at Your majesty
As we kneel before Your holy throne
In the beauty of Your mystery
We are children of the King
Father, of Your love we sing

And You are
Closer than a brother, Jesus
Closer than a brother, Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus
(How Wonderful by Leeland)

*******************

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.
(I Stand Amazed/How Marvelous: Chris Tomlin)

-Paige-

Whatever Will Be Will Be

As many of you may not be aware I am supposed to be in Texas right now, enjoying the early morning sun and the promise of 70-80 degree weather. Instead I'm in L-burg with long sleeves and jacket on to fight off the chill of the rainy weather.

I was going to fly down to Texas to see my Grandpa and Uncle and help out anyway I could for the memorial service for my step-grandmother. I generally fly out of Raleigh because it is less than 3 hours away and it gives me a chance to see my family, which I love. Plus L-burg is a tiny airport so Raleigh is generally cheaper. Many good reasons.

My car, Mr. Roboto is a 1991 4-speed manual Honda Civic. I love Mr. R and he has been a great car for my sis and now for me. I am starting to come to terms with the idea that I might need to let him retire this calendar year. My dream car is a first generation Honda Fit.

On Tuesday I was leaving L-burg to drive down to Raleigh and I was about 4 miles south of town on the highway when Mr. R. decided to quit accelerating. So, as soon as I could I pulled off to a side road and got out of the way of traffic. I turned my car off and started praying that the Lord would fix him. I restarted the car and he started right up, the engine would rev, but it wouldn't go. I had a stationary car.

So I called the mechanic and they came and towed Mr. R. to the shop and long story short on the car end, he is getting a brand new clutch! How lucky for him!!!

Well that was not the end of the story, I still had to try and find a way to get down to Raleigh. So my friend that picked me up took me to campus and we got online and made a reservation for me to rent a car to drive down to Raleigh. Well, long story short there I can't rent a car in VA because I have a Wyo license and no major credit card (I'm resistant on getting a credit card, but this may be a sign that having one for emergencies might be a good idea).

So in lieu of going to Texas for a few days (Wed-Sun) I'm staying home. I'm disappointed that I don't get to see my family and the warm Texas weather, but Queenie was glad to see me come home. And at least my Mr. R. decided to break down near town where I could easily deal with it, and I have great friends that are being very helpful in my car less days.

I am learning to just roll with the punches, I wish I could be with my family, but God has a reason for me being here and not there and I just need to trust Him and enjoy being where I am. Whatever will be will be, I can't change circumstances but I can control how I react and the attitude that I have about my circumstances and I'm trying to look on this as a positive thing, because it is more fun to be around cheerful people.

So while I'm not sitting under the Texas sun right now, I'm still smiling and I'm still going to enjoy my weekend. And hopefully Mr. Roboto will be released from the car doctor this afternoon, but if not, that is ok too!

-Paige-

Growing Up

If you have ever been around me on my birthday or Christmas you will know that presents do not stay wrapped for very long when I am around! It isn't that I'm greedy and I want the loot...I am just curious, "What is wrapped in that package?". I'm like the cat that curiosity killed, only like the cat, satisfaction brings me back! I am just the same with presents I wrap! I know what is in them, but the allure of ripping into the package is just too great!

But this year I decided that I would resist the temptation and I did it! I didn't open any cards or gifts before my birthday yesterday!!! I am so proud of myself, I must be growing up or something!!! How cool is that???

One of my friends went on the seminary spring break trip to Israel (I think he even gets credit for it...) and I can't wait to hear all about his trip and see his 1000 photos. Thinking about that has reminded me of my 1997 trip to Israel and I wish that I was not so sick during that pilgrimage, because I didn't get to participate in as much as I would have liked. As gross as it is, I remember the trip based on where I was and was not sick.

But as I reflect on that trip I am reminded of how blessed I am. Yes, I didn't get to do everything, but I did a lot and I loved what I did get to do. For me the highlight was Hezekiah's Tunnel. I just love that story and getting to be there was just amazing. Oh and getting baptized in the Jordan River. It was all just great.

What do you have from the past few years to reflect upon? Do you have a travel moment that stands out to you? Why?

-Paige-

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I've neglected my blog so much this year. I will try to update more frequently this month. Things here are crazy busy, but that is not an excuse.

There is so much going on in my life that I don't know where to begin, so I'll just share things as they come to me.

1. I still haven't heard about the g.t.a job. So I could use prayer that I get the job. I would really love to be able to stay here and continue on to eventually earn my phD. I think that would open so many more doors for me to be able to serve the Lord by serving His children in times of crisis.

2. As I ponder the fact that my birthday is in less than 3 weeks and I will be more than halfway through my 20's I have a lot to think about.
A. God is always here for us. If we allow Him to be with us at all times the good times will be that much more special and the bad times will be just a little bit easier to go through.
B. Life is about community and that means being with other people. I'm a natural introvert, so my first inclination is to go to work/school/church and then come straight home. Add in the things I've been through in life and it should come as no surprise that I have a hard time making friends. But this semester I've really been trying to cultivate more friendships and it is paying off. I'm getting to know more people and that is awesome. One of the reasons why I'm hesitant to move, I'm finally starting to feel at home here.
C. Laughter really is the best medicine. If I can laugh at some point than it was a good day. Being able to laugh does so much for us, and there are many studies to back me up too!
D. Life really does speed up as we get older! The older I get the more I realize that time is somewhat relative. I can't believe that it is already March 1, 2009. This year is rushing by me and I want it to slow down! There is so much I want to do and I feel like I'll never find the time to do it all. Yet, even 5 years ago I didn't feel this rush of time quite so acutely.

3. GOD is so amazing.

4. Our military deserves so much better than we are giving them. The more I learn about CSD (combat stress disorder, aka combat PTSD) the more I realize we are doing them a great disservice, yet they are still willing to give up everything for us. The suicide rate in the military is WAY up in all branches, and some of that is due to the fact that the men/women are not receiving the counseling they need. That makes me cry.

5. GOD NEEDS to be first in our lives. Any other place is just wrong. God can do so much for us, if we would just let Him have free reign in our lives. Our lives would be so much more joy filled. There will still be hard times, but if we rely on God during those times we will get through and we will come out of them better people. God is such a loving God. He is just, holy, almighty as well, but He is a Father that loves us so much, and as such He wants to be there with us each step of the way.

Well, I guess that is good for now. It is snowing outside, and class is cancelled tomorrow, so I get to work on homework all day and watch 24 in the evening. 2 hours too!!!

Have a blessed beginning of March. It is roaring here!

In Christ,
Paige