I've Got the Joy...

There is a wonderful song I was taught as a kid that I can't help but sing today. "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...down in my heart to stay! And I'm so happy, so very happy. I've got the love of Jesus in my heart. And I'm so happy, so very happy, I've got the love of Jesus in my heart!"

It is a true song. I am loved by Jesus, His love is in EVERY part of me, and down in my heart I do have joy. He has given me so much to be joyful about. I have a warm home, 2 crazy and loving pets, great friends, hope, faith, forgiveness, a husband that I fall deeper in love with everyday, and most of all I have Jesus. As our pastor says, "I know that I know that I know that I'm going to Heaven."

Yet, the joy is DOWN in my heart. Things on the surface are trying to block it from bubbling up. I keep thinking of the shame, guilt, fear, worry, anger of not having a job yet (and faithfully looking and applying for EVERYTHING). I also worry about the health of some of my family members, the trials that friends are facing, and then there is the green-eyed monster that I have to fight off. Friends and family getting to do fun stuff, and we can't because we have NO money, because I have no job.

Pretty soon it is easy to see why the joy is DOWN in my heart and not bubbling over. So, what is a girl to do? What do you do, when your joy is bogged down by life? What do you do when the bad wants to block the good? There is really only 1 answer, only 1 way to bring the joy from being DOWN to being UP. The answer is GOD. You run to GOD.

God has told us that worry is wrong. "22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:22-26 NIV)

So, I need to ditch the worry and that helps the joy begin to move up. But what about the rest of my feelings? What about the jealousy monster? How does God tell me to deal with him?

"13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." (James 3:13-17 NIV)

I have to remind myself that envy is wrong. Envy is saying, "God you are not treating me the way I think I deserve." God is providing for me, and He provides so much. To battle envy I focus on what I do have, the blessings in my life. If I remember that I do much better. No matter how much I get, there will always be someone with more. Envy is a losing battle, so why even engage?

The other emotions are valid, but I have to go back to prayer and the Bible. Use the emotions to keep spurring myself on to finding a job, to keep looking. All the while remembering that God is listening, watching and guiding. God may not provide in the way that seems most logical or most comforting. But He WILL provide. He has told me that my job is to: love, trust, communicate with, and obey Him. If I do all that, He is faithful and He will more than do His job which is to provide.

Before too long the song is changed from having the joy down in my heart to "I've got the joy, joy, joy bubbling up, bubbling, up, yes, bubbling up. I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy bubbling up, yes, bubbling up from within! And I'm so happy, so very happy, I've got the love of Jesus in my heart!"

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I know that lately a lot of these blogs have been about looking for a job. Well, that is where I am right now in life. It is a focus of my blogs because it is the biggest hurdle that D and I are facing right now. Before, when I was working, I took it for granted. It is amazing how much time, thought and life is devoted to a job-and I don't even have 1! But, don't let this fool you. While I haven't touch on it lately, D and I are enjoying being newlyweds, growing together, finding our niche in church, and I'm enjoying meeting new people in my new part of VA.

-JP-