Growing

There have been many days lately when I really wonder. Am I making the right decisions? Am I doing the Lord's will? Is my life a fragrant offering to the Lord? I know that there are days when we can all (if we are being honest) say "No, not really." So how do we turn those no answers into affirmative answers? It is so easy to get caught up in sin cycles, where we make the same mistakes, sin the same sins day after day.

I'm not talking about huge things, I'm talking about what we would call the little sins. Small things that creep up. These things may seem small in our view, but we only see things in a limited field of vision.

Every sin is a big sin. Every sin carries the same penalty. It doesn't matter if all you did was make fun of someone, it carries the same penalty as killing them. That penalty is death. Now, it may not mean your death, but it did mean Christ's death. That thought sobers me. It should also spur me to live a holier life, knowing just how far Christ went to pay for my sins.

Yet, I still struggle and some days I feel like a real failure and a real disappointment to my Lord. I love Him. I love Jesus, I love the Father, I love the Holy Spirit. Yet, my life falls far short of showing that love. I screw up. I do things I wish I wouldn't do. I say things I wish I wouldn't say.

We are told in Scripture to be honest, to live lives of integrity and I'm a firm believer in that way of life. But I also believe that not everyone needs to know the exact details of everything I struggle with, nor do I need to know their exact struggles (and yes I'm a counselor saying this. I expect clients to be honest, if they want to grow, but I don't need to know what 8 billion people are struggling with. That is God's job). There are things that we all struggle with. It is enough sometimes to just ask for prayer. To say to someone, "hey I'm trying to take a few steps forward in my walk and I seem to be hitting some roadblocks, could you please pray for me to find my way past them?"

That is enough, it says to the other person. "Yeah, I admit that I'm not perfect and I need help." I think that is what the Lord wants. He wants us to be honest, to be vulnerable and to admit the truth: we are not perfect and we need HIS help.

So, today I want to admit, "I'm trying to grow. I want to grow. But I'm finding that the path to holiness is hard and I'm trying to overcome some struggles and areas of sin that are ensnaring me. Will you please pray for me to stay focused on the Lord and to enlist HIS divine help in overcoming them, so that I can live a life that is a sweet fragrance to Him, that pleases Him and that shows the world just who my faith is in."

Thank you! Your prayers are appreciated!