WHY?

Dear Lord,

I love You very much and I know that You love me too. But, I do have some questions for You. Questions that maybe should have been asked years ago, but I was not ready to ask them yet. I think that I am now. I also believe that deep down I know what the answers are going to be, but I still need to ask the questions.

I wouldn't change the fact that I can rest in Your love these days, but it has been a really hard to get here. I know that You were there the night I was raped, the fact that I'm still alive is a testiment to that. The fact that a few months later when You wouldn't let the pills kill me, like I planned, well that is further testiment to Your presence. So I know that You love me. I am finally ready to ask why though. Why did things happen the way they did? Why are so many women raped every year, why haven't You come back and put an end to all the evil?

I know that I'm not the only one with questions, and I'm not questioning your existence, because I believe that you are here, so maybe it is your tactics I'm questioning. I'm not even sure. There is a lot that I want to know, that I want to understand.

I also want to know why, if purity is so important to You, why is rape so common? It is estimated that 25% of women will be sexually assualted sometime in their life. That is a low ball estimate, because so few of us report the crime, I was one of those. I chose silence. Yes, that is what I felt would help me survive. Rape is not something we ask for, so why do You allow it to be so rampant?

You are GOD- you are almighty, all-powerful, you are in control, you love each of us. Yet, vilolent crimes occur ALL the time. Not only do vilolent crimes happen way too frequently, but all the pain that people feel- from losing a spouse, a child, friend, family member, to health and emotional problems of our own.

I know the Bible says this is not how You designed the world to function. Your design was perfection and bliss. We humans screwed things up. Yet, it is easily in Your power to come back and claim Your rightful title as ruler. So, what is keeping you?

No matter what the answers to all my questions, I will still love you, because you loved me enough to make a way for me to escape an eternity of pain and spend eternity in bliss with you. My love won't change, but maybe my understand will.


You Loving Child