Trying...

Have you ever had days, weeks, months, maybe even years where Christianity is just tough? I have lately.

I love the Lord. I do. I love God and I am eternally grateful that I'll get to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Which leads me to wonder, why do I have such a hard time living the Christian life?

I love to read, yet lately reading the Bible has seem liked a chore. The Bible is God's love letter to each of us. I love to read notes my Prince Charming has written to me, so shouldn't want to read God's love note even more? So, on top of not wanting to dig into the word, I have guilt over it. And yes, maybe the guilt is there to spur me to do it.

I also do things that I know I shouldn't do. I watch shows that I know are not uplifting. I know that if I was a more devout Christian I wouldn't do some of the things that I am doing.

So, what do I do to get out of the rut. Because I want to be that person that God knows I can be. I do love Him, but right now I am having a hard time manifesting that love into a desire to be and do good. I remember when I couldn't get enough of prayer and Scripture.

Maybe I just need to take a time out and refocus. I don't know. But I do want to get back on tack. I guess the desire to do good is a good sign. For awhile I didn't even care. But, now I do care. I just need to find a way to move beyond trying and into doing.