Rape: Where the Past is still Present

I've been applying and interviewing for jobs all over the area and I lost out on a job that I really wanted because my psych eval. showed that I have a history of panic attacks. So once again the rape is affecting my life in a very real way.

I hate that. I hate that no matter how hard I try the rape is not just an event in my past that helped shaped me (not all for the better, but it did mold me). The rape is an event in my past that still continues to reach into my present and screw with my future. Life just isn't easy and the past can't always be left in the past.

Dear Lord,
You know well that I'm frustrated, that I still get angry at how my past is affecting my present. I know that You love me. Please be near me as I look for jobs. Point me in the right direction and help me to quickly find the job that You have for me. Encourage the employers to look my way. I want to contribute to our family. In order to be a steward of my finances, I need a job to earn those finances. You know I'm willing to work hard, I just need the chance. HELP me! I want a job.
Lord, cover me in Your love. Thank for always being there for me, and for all of us that call to You. I know we come to You more in times of need than times of joy. I apologize for not giving You the attention You deserve. I apologize that You have not always been first place in my life. You are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, You are the magnificent creator, Jehovah, Judge, Friend, Father, Life giver, You are our wonderful counselor, our great physician, you are our EVERYTHING.
Unto You be all the glory, the praise and the worship, for You alone are worthy of adoration. Help me to remember that, to remember my first love and to show that through my actions, my mind, my heart attitude. Even if things don't go my way, help me to remain joyful, because no matter what the struggles I face may be, You are still You and you just love to help us see beyond the present, see past the past and into the future, a future that is forever filled with YOU.

Through Your Son's blood, sacrifice and resurrection I pray. AMEN.