Marriage: For Worse & For Poorer

During a wedding ceremony when you say your vows, you don't expect the "for worse" and "for poorer" to happen right away, but for us that is what we have been dealt. I am 27 years old. I have a B.S. in Elementary Education and an M.A. in Pastoral Counseling. I have solid references and a pretty boring criminal history (a few speeding tickets). Yet, I have lived here since October and I have yet to have anyone offer me a job.

It is getting ridiculous. It is also getting very frustrating. Yes, my beloved husband has a job, but he doesn't make enough to totally support both of us. We need 2 incomes, or we will have to quit eating and quit using electricity. We've already cut out "fun", "travel" and "entertainment" from our budget.

I'm not here to whine. I'm just saying, we are in a season of the "for poorer" part of our vows. In a way, it is good. During the easy or rich times it is easier to scoot through life. During the tighter times you have to gird yourself and work together to make it. This season at the beginning of our marriage will help us to really cement our relationship at the beginning. If your foundation is deep and strong, it will handle the storms better, and I KNOW that this is not the only storm we will face in life.

Storms come. They don't always last very long, but they come, and they unleash fury and destruction. This foundation will protect against their fury. Knowing all this, does not make this season any easier. Being in the midst of a storm, or a harsh winter is no fun. It is cold, hard, frustrating, life less, barren. It is seemingly all that.

Yet, looking deeper you see roots and seeds. You see that buried and waiting are the givers of life. Winter doesn't last forever, and neither will this time in our marriage. All though I have moments where I wonder "why the tartoofers won't anyone just hire me? I'm a good, hard worker! I'm smart and capable. I'm honest and punctual!" deep down, when I get past the hurt and shame of not being able to find employment, I know that God is taking care of us, God has a plan. If D and I let Him, God will use this time for good.

Not only does God promise in Jer. 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We are also told, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

God is working. God is building. Yes, it is a time of poorer and maybe worse. But it is also a time of togetherness, prayer, and building. And just as D and Jason start each house with a strong foundation, that causes a lot of disturbances to the ground, so must our marriage. In order for it to be strong, the ground must be leveled and foundation poured and set. Hard work and not much fun, but oh so very important in order to face future storms.

-JP-