Right now I am sitting all cozy in my bed, with my husband beside me (asleep) and our cat curled up at my feet. Our little daughter is kicking away in my uterus. It is a pretty idyllic start to a Friday, a blessing indeed.
10 years ago, heck 5 or even 3 years ago I could not have imagined that I'd be able to enjoy such mornings. My rape took so much away. The girl I was before died the night of my rape. Out of the ashes I had to be reborn, I had to figure out how I was going to navigate, to survive in a world that was suddenly no longer safe.
At first I thought I was beginning to make a new life, and then I saw the true nature of my bf and I allowed myself to plunge into the world of abuse, where I was stuck for far too long. What I thought was living was really just getting by.
Finally, I left the situation. I saw a Bible sitting on my shelf, dusty and unread. I opened it and it fed my soul. The love of Christ reached out to me. I then went on a journey. I had been raised in a Christian home, I was working for a Christian organization, but still I hadn't made Christ my own. I had to discover for myself that Jesus was true.
My journey was fascinating and in the end it led me to so much peace. It was not a quick journey, but it was what I needed. No longer was I getting by, but I was finally taking the steps to becoming a rape and abuse victor. No longer was I "the girl that was raped". I was "the girl that Jesus loves". My whole outlook changed, how I identified myself changed. No longer was it an event, but it was God that gave me my identity.
Slowly God developed inside me a heart for others that have been there, that are there. Others that are traveling the road of rape/abuse experience. I want to show people that God wants to give us our identity, our value, and His joy.
Here I sit all cozy and surrounded by those I love, awaiting the birth of my daughter Yet, beyond the walls of my home are 1000's of women that need Christ, 1000's that are hurting, from a 1000 different hurts.
We struggle to find the answer, the solution to our pain, when it is just a prayer away. Our answer is contained within the Bible. It is a Savior on a cross. It is that same Savior coming down, resting in a grave, only to emerge victorious, alive and able to handle all that life has. It is that Savior saying "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest."
-JLP-
No comments:
Post a Comment