There is nothing harder that I have had to do than travel the post-rape, post-abuse trail. It is not for the faint of heart. It is also not a journey that I could have traveled alone. God gave me an amazing support group of family, friends and Himself. Without each I couldn't have made it joyfully.
As hard as it is to personally travel the journey from evil circumstances and pain to joy, it is also very hard to watch someone you love have to deal with personal tragedy and pain. There is almost nothing harder than watching someone you love hurting and knowing that while you can be a comfort, they have to travel the journey, you can't do it for them.
That is where faith comes in. It takes a lot of faith in God and His love to give them over to Him. As humans we want to hold on. We want to be in control. We hurt for those we love, so we want to fix it, and fix it now. We want to make everything better for them.
Yet, that is not what our loved ones need. They need to take the steps, to make the decisions, to see that they are stronger than they believe, that they can do this. In the end, letting go and giving them to God and letting Him have the reins is the best gift we can give them.
We may feel like we are just spectators, but we are not helpless. They will need their support group. They will need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a person to vent to, a friend and not a judge. They will need a shove for a night out. Being the friend is hard, but it is not a helpless job. While God is leading the journey, He doesn't ask us to go it alone. He tells us that we need each other. Yet, we can't crowd them. We each have our own journey.
They will give you cues, and if you can't read the cues, just ask them! It is hard to be the friend/loved one, but it is a very important role.
-JLP-
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